#74 My Body My Story 45 Over 45 - Joe

In this episode, you will learn 10 FACTS about Joe, what age she would like to go back to, and what advice she would give herself at that age! We also talk about the main causes of body image issues, how they come up, and how she overcomes them. And we discuss what aging means to her and to her body.

 

10 Facts About Joe

(at the time of the project)

1. 52 years old.
2. She goes by Joe. But her full name is Joanna.
3. Joe was born in Goulburn country town near Canberra
4. Joe moved up to Canberra to go to university. And that was only an hour away from home. Now she lives near Canberra, she works in Canberra.
5. Although Joe travelled the World, she has remained an hour from where she was born her whole life.
6. Joe has been married for 29 years, to Tim, who is absolutely the love of her life.
7. Joe and Tim have two adult children. They're very, very proud of Lily and Angus, and they are 25 and 23. And both still living at home and working full time.
8. They have one amazing dog Piper, who's an 11-year-old Labradoodle - a cross between a Labrador and a poodle.
9. Joe works full-time and manages a team of social workers, who support vulnerable families in Canberra. And particularly do a lot of child protection in ACT.
10. Joe’s passion is social justice, and particularly looking after the vulnerable kids in our community and keeping them safe and giving them every opportunity that they can have.

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

(auto-generated)

Hi, you're listening to the My Body, My Story podcast.

I would go back to 30 because of the age of the children and readjust my perspective on life and my priorities and realise that life's short and my time with them as little people is even shorter, so work doesn't matter.

This is the 45 over 45 chapter where we celebrate Rule Breakers and role models, the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show their sensuality beauty, soul, and true essence. Here we talk about what it's like to be 45 Plus, adjusting to the changes that come with time, and we listened to the stories about participants. If you have an interesting story, we'd love for you to participate. You can email us at info@aleksandrawalker.com That's Aleksandra spelled with a K S. Or visit our website aleksandrawalker.com

Hello, everyone, and welcome to The My Body My Story projects and today with us Joe in the studio. And while she's sitting in the makeup chair and Chitra is doing makeup for her. I'll be asking her a few questions. Hi, Joe.

Hello

Welcome to the studio and welcome to the project. Let's start and tell us 10 facts about yourself.

Okay, thank you. So I go by Joe. My full name is Joanna. I live up near Canberra, I work in Canberra. I was born in Goulburn country town and moved up to Canberra to go to university. And that was only an hour away from home. And that's as far as I ever got. So although I've travelled the world have remained within an hour's have played out an hour from where I was born my whole life. I have been married for 29 years, to Tim, who was absolutely the love of my life. We have two adults children. We're very, very proud of Lily and Angus, and they are 25 and 23. And both still living at home and working full time. But they, they're both incredible people and one day, we're hoping that things will change out there and they'll be able to afford to move out of home and buy their own place. So at the moment, we are living in the same house. We have one amazing dog Piper, who's an 11 year old Labradoodle, who we all love very much

what is the word?

Labradoodle. So it's a cross between a Labrador and a poodle. So she's brown curly hair. She's beautiful. I'm still unfortunately working full time I manage a team of social workers. And we support the vulnerable families in Canberra. And particularly for children. We do a lot of work with child protection in ACT. And that was my previous job before I moved out to work in the community. I've always worked in the community sector. My passion is social justice, and particularly looking after the vulnerable kids in our community and keeping them safe and giving them every opportunity that they can have.

So when you say vulnerable kids, it's like a domestic violence or liquids.

Yes, domestic violence, drug and alcohol issues in the house mental health issues, poverty. And unfortunately, child abuse and neglect. Looking after all of those issues. Yes.

Excellent. So it didn't mention how old are you now?

I am 52.

And so what, at this age, what does ageing means to you?

Being invisible, being invisible, being invisible. I feel at this age I am overlooked at work. And I am looked through and looked passed out outside of work out in the community. And instead of being looked at or even looked up and down, that doesn't feel like it happens anymore as we get older.

So that's why we started this project. So, we've been heard and seen and so we can reach a

 wider audience and talk about what ageing means for us. That we are still here. We like we're beautiful we do we still full of energy and we have plans… when you're saying that being invisible, so what do you think. it's not our usual question, but I'd like to ask this question. So, what do you think is the reason for this kind of attitude of people? Why suddenly they stop seeing us?

I believe that as we get older, and we start to feel like that, and I probably again, shouldn't be using the collective way, but I certainly feel this way, is that we start to hold ourselves up to unrealistic standards. And that is happening more in this modern age. Because of media, we see photos and movies, and people on TV and social media. And they all look so young, and flawless, and beautiful. And we forget that behind each of those photos, is an awful lot of filters, and makeup, and hairdressers, and stylists, but we forget that we see, I see we see them and hold ourselves up to an unrealistic standard. And stuff. We don't compare, we don't matter, we don't look like that.

Or I'm thinking that sometimes, they just don't publish the photos of all the women. They just started, this movement just started, like with the older models, you know, and looking more natural. But before like, if you remember, we will just see normally young women on the covers of the magazine and inside the magazine. And it's like forgetting that there's a very small demographics, you know, it's not a representative group of the whole world.

And then the middle-aged women that they were previously putting into the social media and into the movies are people that are absolutely jam packed full of cosmetic procedures.

Yeah. And again, it's not realistic, it's not real, we kind of moved to this question already. What do you think are the main causes of the body image issues? Like, I think that you already named the reasons is the media, but do you think any other reasons are? Do you think it can be also within the family? Or like, social circles?

You know, I think it's probably peer, I think that your family? For me, my family has always been it doesn't matter. Yeah, as long as you are happy, and you're a good person, it doesn't matter. And that's never been something you know, you've had I've ever held myself up to unrealistic, unrealistic expectations from my family about what I look like. But certainly, peas and women that you are surrounded with in your daily life. Yeah, you absolutely feel no. Keeping Up with the Joneses. I've got a look like that. I've got to wear that. I've got to do that. I've got to be that. Yeah.

And you know what, we discuss it earlier before the we start recording the podcast. And I think that maybe one of the reasons why people try to clue like not to not, as you said, I'm invisible. Yeah, they don't see me. It's their own fear of getting older. You know, the people try to escape something which they're afraid of. And so I think that the moment most of the people stop fearing getting older, and understanding that there is life after 40 or 50. So they will stop fearing that themselves and maybe that trend of trying to close their eyes on someone who is older than them will stop or at least will lessen or that will have this kind of effect. Hopefully.

That's why we need more older women representing the different age groups in the media, we need all this podcast, we need to talk about that. You know, so people hear that they know that and basically the just you have only 10 or 20 years of your young life after that, like but you don't live 20 years, you live 60,80. So does it mean that you just stay alive and can enjoy life only for the 20 years of your life? No. So that's why we are here, we will talk about that.

Yes. And I think it's up to women to support other women. And we'll age disgracefully together. Yeah, it will be okay.

Exactly, exactly. If you could go back in time, imagine this a time machine to any age, what would it be? and why? And what advice would you give yourself at this age?

I would go back to being 30. To 30. Because I would have two little people in my life, I would do give anything to have one more day at them at that age, I would go back to 30 because of the age of the children, and it readjust my perspective on life and my priorities and realise that life's short, and my time with them as little people is even shorter. So work doesn't matter at all. And it would be the message to myself would be just enjoy every moment of every day. Don't get to 52 and think I should have or I could have. Yeah, yeah.

So let's move to body image questions, even though we already touched it a bit. But imagine that your budget could talk. So what do you think it would ask you or tell you?

My body would definitely tell me to slow down and to stress less? And to go with my gut instinct when you think something is wrong?

Do you believe that the negative body image effects relationships? And what way?

Thinking that I don't like the way I look. So nobody else will. I don't want to see myself in a pair of swimmers or in that dress or in naked? So nobody else will. Yeah, yeah. And you feel insecure? And then everything you like this fresh wound, you know, like, everything can cause pain. Yes. When you feel insecure in your own body, and especially with age, when we start changing, our body starts changing, you know, and our life routine is changing, we cannot do things which we used to do before, even if we're in great shape. Steel's.

So that's so what is your go to ways to bring yourself into mentally good shape?

Having been through lots of pretty serious health issues over the last few years, I absolutely would say it's about taking time for self-care. And unfortunately, as you get older that needs factoring in things like diet, and exercise.

So this is like a physical taking care of your physical body improves your mental, absolutely state as well as

Yeah, yes, definitely.

I agree with you that just recently started doing Pilates reformers. And I never liked sports, though, I did go to gym when I was younger, but I never really enjoyed it. I just did it as a job. But this time, I'm doing this below this and I'm really enjoying it and but on the downside, I feel like I cannot do more things as I could 20 years ago, and I'm thinking, Oh, I wish I would do it. 20 years back.

I'm the same of probably six months ago, I discovered the reformer Pilates and probably perceived a little bit as a cult and an obsession by me now. I love it. Because it's not cardio, but you do feel better for doing it. You feel you can see the difference. Yeah, next day. Yep, toning up and having a giggle. I do it with a group that are women only so it's even more fun. Yes. And it's not terribly many young, young people, young women and it's an easy fun exercise. I don't want to go to the gym and be surrounded by mirrors and I don't want to rely on myself to go for a walk or a run because that won't happen. But the Pilates has ticked all the boxes for me what I like in the in the class because I also go all the women

We also actually have couple of guys there but what I noticed that even women of my age or older, some of them are more flexible than me and they can do things and I'm just it gives me hope like, okay, it's me, I cannot do it. Because it's been too long. I didn't do any physical exercise. But I can see women who are older than me, then in great shape, you know, they can bend, they can twist, you know, and I'm like, okay, so probably with time, I can also do that. So that's a great thing.

Yeah. Just to bring yourself in to know. And it actually gives me a good mental kind of state. Absolutely good way to start the day. Yeah. Yes.

How do you overcome your body insecurities? Like, is it the same method you do exercise? Or are there any special methods? And the other question has changed since you were younger? Like, if you compare when you were younger? What did you do? And what do you do now?

when I was younger? If I didn't like something, I would do something about it. And now when I don't like something, I ignore it. I just don't look at it again. Yes, I don't go and do something about it. Or I just go do you accept it? Or you just Oh, no, no, no, no, definitely don't accept I just did not deny and ignore.

You take this Scarlett O'Hara approach. I won't think about it now. I’ll think about it tomorrow, maybe?

Yes. Great.

Okay, so my last question. I love it, because we have so many different answers to that. And do you have any favourite quotes about being a woman or saying, or maybe your own thoughts?

I do. The whole reason that I ended up jumping in and doing this is because I don't have a single photo that I could say hand on heart of myself that I that I like, and not long ago, rewatching Schitt’s Greek Moira Rose. When she said: Take 1000 pictures of yourself, you may currently think I'm too spooky, or nobody wants to see. But believe me one day, you will look back at these photos with much kinder eyes and say, D God I was a beautiful thing.

Oh, God, I have goosebumps. You know, that's exactly what is. Oh my god. Seriously, you just sounded out the idea of this project. You know that? When I started this project, I was thinking, I was looking through my I wasn't feeling really well about myself. Because I started ageing, I started putting on weight. I didn't like the way I look. And I was looking through my younger pictures. And looking oh my god, I was so beautiful. I was so slim. I was so trying to remember. And at the same time I see these sad eyes, you know, a face and think what is this? And then started remembering how I treated myself at that age. I was always thinking that I'm not good enough that my body is not slim enough or not, you know, not enough. Not enough and I'm thinking how stupid I was. I was young, I was in a great shape. You know that these small things which nobody noticed, but you and you're just trying to find something to pick up on. And now when you're really fat and ugly and old. And then I said wait a second. Stop. What if you take a picture now and look at it 20 years later, you will probably say how stupid I was them.

This is the main reason we do this shoot today. I hope you will enjoy that. I hope you will see many nice pictures of yourself. And the main thing I hope you will enjoy the whole experience of just being a woman in front of the camera. Just relax. It doesn't matter how many pictures you like or not you just enjoy this project and enjoy the process.

I will! Thank you, thank you very much.

If you have an interesting story, we'd love for you to participate. You can email us at info@aleksandrawalker.com That's Aleksandra spelled with a K S. Or visit our website aleksandrawalker.com

 

This is the 45 over 45 chapter of MY BODY MY STORY podcast, where we celebrate rule breakers and role models - the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show their SENSUALITY,  BEAUTY, SOUL, and TRUE ESSENCE.

 

For more information about the project visit:

https://www.aleksandrawalker.com/45-over-45

 

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