#71 My Body My Story 45 Over 45 - Shift Happens With Isy Gabriel

In this episode, you will learn 10 FACTS about Isy, what age she would like to go back to, and what advice she would give herself at that age! We also talk about the main causes of body image issues, how they come up, and how she overcomes them. And we discuss what aging means to her and to her body.

 

10 Facts About Isy

(at the time of the project)

1. 60 years old
2. it has literally taken her whole life to find the joy and the freedom that she is in right now. She feels more vibrant now than she ever has in her life.
3. Isy has two grown children.
4. Isy lives on the far south coast of New South Wales. In paradise called Wallaga Lake.
5. Isy has had a long journey with pain, which started at 17 after a domestic accident that broke her spine in multiple places, and she’s spent her life moving through that and into pleasure and joy and freedom.
6. Isy has been a bodywork therapist for 30 years, but her primary modality now is something called Family Constellations, which is basically clearing ancestral trauma and family patterns, which everybody's carrying.
7. Isy was born in the UK and came to Australia on a working holiday after her PhD in Africa and fell in love with it.
8. Isy studied primatology and psychology as an undergraduate, and then went on to her follow up with her Honors and then a PhD, studying monkeys in the African savanna to show that learning had to be playful to be effective.
9. Isy spent 25 years working with the Gyuto monks of Tibet and feels that self-love is the absolutely most beneficial thing we can do not just for ourselves, but for our family, our relationships and humanity as a whole.
10. Isy’s soul's purpose is to hold workshops in the group field, because she really feels it is in that collective space, where we come together, not just to heal our own patterns, but to actually be there in witness and support of other people also healing their patterns.

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

(auto-generated)

Hi, you're listening to the My Body, My Story podcast.

I really did go back and tell myself, it's going to be okay. You are going to get through, and you are going to be more glorious and more radiant than ever. It's true.

This is the 45 over 45 chapter where we celebrate Rule Breakers and role models, the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show their sensuality beauty, soul, and true essence. Here we talk about what it's like to be 45 Plus, adjusting to the changes that come with time, and we listened to the stories about participants. If you have an interesting story, we'd love for you to participate. You can email us at info@aleksandrawalker.com That's Aleksandra spelled with a K S. Or visit our website aleksandrawalker.com

 

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the My body My Story project and today with us in the studio Isy. And while she's sitting in the makeup chair, and Chitra is doing makeup for her. I'll be asking her a few questions. Hi, Isy, how are you?

Hi. I'm good. I'm excited.

So let's start and tell us 10 facts about yourself.

I'm 60 I feel more vibrant now than I ever have in my life. I have two grown children. I live on the far south coast of New South Wales. In paradise. I've had a long journey with pain, which started at 17 After a domestic accident that broke my spine in multiple places, and I've spent my life moving through that and into pleasure and joy and freedom.

And I know that you are a coach, spiritual teacher, what is your main thing you do in life.

I've been a bodywork therapist for 30 years, but my primary modality now is something called Family Constellations, which is basically clearing ancestral trauma and family patterns, which everybody's carrying, basically. But really what that's doing is carrying what is in the way of your lifeforce and bringing you to so much more joy and fullness and reaching your own potential in life.

So or do you use some specific methods or

so the method is called Family Constellations. But I do it in my own way, having lived a long life of many influences. And but it is a process that is best done in a group. So yeah, I started like a group therapist. It's Yes, it's more I would call it more personal development than therapy. It's really a choice to move into more vibrancy in your life, more empowerment, rather than somebody having, you know, a lot of trauma that they might need to see a psychologist for. Yeah.

So you say you live in on the south coast, was it always like you were born there or where you were born?

I was born in the UK. I came here on a working holiday after my PhD in Africa. And, and I just fell in love with it when I first came here. And a few years later, I emigrated with my little boy and made a home here and found this incredible blue, beautiful place on the far south coast under the credibly sacred Gulaga mountain sacred to the UN people. And there's a little town there called Tilba, which a lot of people have heard about Tilba Tilba. Yeah. And that's where yeah, that's where I've made home for the last 25 years. And now I live just down the road in this little place called Wallaga Lake, which is five minutes walk from the city.

And you said you did PhD in Africa.

That's another interesting story. Yeah, again, that was it followed on from my degree in psychology, and I studied primatology and psychology as an undergraduate, and then went on to on my follow up with my honours and then a PhD, studying monkeys in the African savanna. Studying play behaviour to show that learning had to be playful to be effective. And it's still really how I feel about the education system and about learning thing really and about living our lives in joy. And, you know, my life has very much gone from moving from the painful parts of life into a lot more joy. And, yeah, I really believe that it's a possible thing, no matter where you are in your life, no matter what challenges you face, to be able to have the courage to just be with what is to be with that, and allow that and to not hide it, to move through those parts so that you can move into authenticity with your pleasure, and your joy. Love connection, sexuality. Yeah,

that's interesting. So let's move to this podcast subject - our body and ageing. And first, I want to ask you What does ageing means to you?

I feel more alive now than I ever have. And sure that's a life in personal development. But I feel that in ageing, I have more joy and more freedom less responsibility. Now my children are have grown and I don't feel constrained by my age. I feel that it has added to who I am. Yeah,

it's, it's we're talking about mental state. .. that's what you Feel like?

Yeah.

Emotional, emotional, mental, state and the ageing body?

Well, again, it's accepting what is I'm not interested in, I realise for some people, it's what they need, but I'm not interested in like the Botox path. And that I'm, I just want to be natural, who I am authentically who I am. And I feel the best anti ageing drug is Eros, your lifeforce, and I have plenty of that.

That's really, yeah, it's really important energy, I think, to keep us women vibrant and alive and keeping interest to live. And I think the age definitely, at some point, it changes direction or intensity. And so I think it's quite important to find a way to still have it in your life.

Yes, yeah. Well, I there's lots of techniques you can use to help run your energy in a way that really encourages you to feel your body. Yeah, I call it embodiment. It's, that's something that some people understand. But not everybody that's like living through the body. Rather than ignoring it, or hoping the ageing process won't, won't catch up with you know, it will, it will. Yeah,

but what do you think generally not even related with age, but generally, the body insecurities or body image issues? What's the main cause or causes of for that?

I believe that it's the very oppressive narrative of cultural norms fueled by you know, family often, you know, different cultural things or have a different viewpoint, but I still think that generally, the, the oppressive cultural norms are what, start that and then it's fueled, of course, by negative, repetitive negative self-talk, which just feels that disbelief in self and not seeing one's own beauty. And, yeah, I, I really feel again, that it's coming back to what is really true and clearing these old patterns that we have in our psyche, whether they're from the cultural narrative, or from family ancestral stuff, where your own upbringing

 

it's like a multi layer complex. Do you believe that the person itself has to have growned for that seed of that the society plants, the seeds of insecurity into the ground. And if this ground is not taking the seed, it's not gonna happen, like, Do you believe it's from within us, or

 

I feel that, depending on what your family narrative has been, depends on how susceptible you are to that outside narrative. You know, my parents were really positive about my body image, I never received any kind of shame around my body image around my sexuality. And so I, you know, I was very, very lucky in that respect. Whereas obviously, a lot of people get a lot of much more negative imprinting around that. So I think it's a case of whether those seeds how difficult the bed was when those seeds are sown. But regardless of that, there's still the choice for us to seek things like my work, or many other people in the personal development field, who are helping free. These narratives, these belief systems that are just destructive, really self criticism is an annihilation of the self. And I feel that self love is the absolutely most beneficial thing we can do not just for ourselves, but for our family, our relationships and humanity as a whole. I spent 25 years working with the Gyuto monks of Tibet who had tantric monks. And basically, their whole philosophy is that self love is the kindest thing you can do to, to not foot not just for yourself, but for humanity is to take care of yourself. So actually, you're not a burden on other people. If you are giving yourself love. Then you're coming from a place where you can more fill other people's cups, if you're filling your own first.

Yeah, because we all know one whole thing.

Like their philosophy, like we are all together. Yeah. All Connected apart. Yeah, part of one big thing.

Yes. So I didn't ask you in the introduction section, but if do you work as like, do you work on live in person or you work online,

I do both my greatest joy in my life. My soul's purpose is to hold these workshops in in the group field is because I really feel it is in that collective space, where we come together, not just to heal our own patterns, but to actually be there in witness and support of other people also healing their patterns. And when when I create these workshops, the space that is created between these people between all of us together there, it's absolutely magical, and miraculous and shamanic and deep and really, it's ineffable really, it's really beyond words to truly describe the magic that happens in that space. And that is, so I prefer to do this work in that way, rather than one on one. But I can do the work one on one either in person or online. And you can do groups online too. So when possible, you can always get access to it if

the if someone wants to find your join your workshop in person or online or just to contact you how they can find you.

They can either find me on Facebook Isy Gabriel I'm the only Isy Gabriel on Facebook apparently. Which is quite miraculous because it's I'm also Isygabriel.com.au. That site is currently being rebranded and rebooted. So it might not be up right this moment, but it will be very shortly. Yeah, maybe this photoshoot will be one of the photos on Oh, website.

So do you think that negative body image can affect relationships? And if yes, then in what way? are

absolutely and I say that categorically? Because until you can love yourself whether it's in wholeness or whether it's your flabby thighs or your grandma arms or your funny nose that you think you have. Or it's a part of yourself that you don't like very much like in body or in mind, you know, personality or until you can love that you cannot actually receive love from someone else you won't let it in. And so that's obviously going to affect relationships, you will, as a natural part of that psychology, it's almost impossible to let to accept the love of another for that part when you don't love it yourself. So, yeah, it's a it comes back again to the self love piece. And the more you can love yourself, the more healthy your relationships will be, I believe,

I agree with you. So do you have ways to overcome your own body insecurities? I mean, they may not be a lot of them. But obviously, from time to time we have we don't feel well or, like we, we can go off the rail of positivity and think, Okay, I'm getting old or whatever. So what's your go to? Ways? Yeah, to bring yourself back in shape?

Great question. Great question. And I did like eight years ago, I hit menopause and watched my face fall off in the mirror every day. That's what it looked like, you know, oh, my God, you know, that's an inch lower, I'm sure. And, yeah, like, I definitely I really crashed and burned during that menopause period, and had to go back to my practices of self love, like, who am I, who am I am I this body am I this face that's falling off in the mirror. There's somebody who I adore called Emmeline Gorski. And she's, I think it's the best TED talk ever given she, you can find her on YouTube. And she's a scientist who studies sexuality. And she says that the keys to sexuality are confidence and joy. And she has this particular process that I recommend every single woman or man for that matter, do, which is you stand in front of the mirror, she says as near naked as you can bear. And write down everything that you love about what you see. And if it's just your eyelashes, or your hair, or your ears, or that little bit on your shoulder, or your collarbone or your big toe, or whatever it is, no matter how small you can write it down. You can also do this process with your own personality, your own psyche. And by doing this day, by day, you will actually gradually begin to fall in love with what you see. And I think it's a very, very beautiful process to do. And yeah, and any, you know, you can adapt anything to what you can handle yourself, you know, depends on how good or bad your own self esteem is to start with, but I think it's great process to do.

Yeah, sounds good. So I'm definitely gonna try that. So I love this question. What age would you go back to? If you could? And why this age? And what advice would you give yourself?

Well, I reflected about this question. And the truth is, is that I wouldn't go back. I love where I'm at in my life. And sure, I've probably had a very different life for most people. So the first 11 years after the age of 17, I was in constant 24/7 excruciating pain. So of course, I'm not going to go back to that stage of my life after my accident. And even after then I was in emotional and mental pain. And it has literally taken my whole life to find the joy and the freedom that I am in right now. I wouldn't go anywhere like this is this is this is the most self love I have ever been in. This is the most joy that I've ever been in. And even though I've actually crashed and burned in the last A couple of months from a heartbreak. I still would not go back. Because every time I fall down into that pit of despair, there is gold there. There is gold there every time. And I actually, I mean, I also wouldn't go back because I, my lovers now are hotter than I ever had. I mean, they're in their 30s. I never had hot lovers like that in my 30s. Like, so I'm just having the time of my life. Yeah, why would you go blind when I go back? Like, no, this is the best life. But this is the best part of my life for me. And I struggled as a single mother for 25 years, and I did struggle. I was a very, very single mother of two children. And I adored them. And I love the day they left home, you know, I have more freedom, no responsibility. No, I'm not going back. I'm just here.

And so what advice would you give yourself now?

Well, I would still say I would love to give my previous self at any age, really, the reassurance that I will make it, you know, you're looking at someone who has faced the desire for suicide a lot in my life a lot. It's not what it looks like right now when you look at me, but I have. And I feel like I really did in those times. Really hear myself now. I really did go back and tell myself, it's going to be okay, you are going to get through and you are going to be more glorious and more radiant than ever. And it's true.

Wonderful. And my last question is being a woman. What's your favourite thing or court about that?

There are so many, right. And there are so many from this particular woman, Eleanor Roosevelt. I adore her and she has so many good things to say. But one of the things and I'm probably paraphrasing and not exact, but is that is better, to follow courage than follow fear. Because as hard as it is, it's harder. The path of fear is harder than the path of courage. And I feel that that is yeah, probably what I also said to myself, there was many times and from myself, I would say to women that empowering their lifeforce, and they Eros is the one single thing to do to if you like combat ageing or to enhance who you are, no matter what age you are. And Eros is underrated. It's the sexual lifeforce. And it doesn't matter whether you have a partner, it's my daily self pleasure practice that brings me alive. No matter what I'm going through, no matter the tears, no matter the anger, no matter whatever. It's bringing it back to my body and listening to my body, my body. I have a beautiful relationship with my body because it speaks to me and I listen. I listen when it needs rest. I listen when it wants to exercise. I listen when it doesn't want that piece of cake. I listen. And I follow because it's my guidance. It's how you become embodied is by listening. Yeah.

Wow. That's the very, very nice finale of our podcast. Thank you Isy! Thank you very much for joining the project. I hope you will enjoy the rest of the day in your photo shoot. I'm sure I will find even more connection with your body during the shoot.

Yes, yes. Every time there's a new thing to explore.

Thank you.

Yeah, thank you.

If you have an interesting story, we'd love for you to participate. You can email us at info@aleksandrawalker.com That's Aleksandra spelled with a K S. Or visit our website aleksandrawalker.com

This is the 45 over 45 chapter of MY BODY MY STORY podcast, where we celebrate rule breakers and role models - the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show their SENSUALITY,  BEAUTY, SOUL, and TRUE ESSENCE.

 

For more information about the project visit:

https://www.aleksandrawalker.com/45-over-45

 

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