#48 My Body My Story 45 Over 45 - Samantha

In this episode, you will learn 10 FACTS about Samantha and what she thinks about perfect body image, positive changes and challenges of 45+ women, what is it for her to feel good and look beautiful, and what advice she would give younger women and 30-year-old self!

 

10 Facts About Samantha

(at the time of the project)

1. 49 years old.
2. Samantha’s heritage is Portuguese and Indian but born and raised in Australia.
3. She is a mom of two girls in their 20s. Natasha is 24 and Jasmine is 21.
4. Samantha is also a fiancé and soon to be married in Paradise Island in the Bahamas. It's her third marriage.
5. Samantha living life by design now as a solopreneur, and a bit of a boss woman. She started her business last year in September, People Mojo, it's an HR consultancy business.
6. She is a netballer have been a netballer all of her life. Samantha started when she was five and played professional netball for the state and for the region. Now Samantha plays together with her youngest daughter on the same end of the court as shooters. They've got the height.
7. Samantha always been tall. She’s just over six foot. She was always in the back of the class photos at school, and always with the boys.
8. Samantha loves to dance. She used to dance, jazz, ballet and hip-hop dance right up until her 30s.
9. Samantha loves fashion and her favourite brand is Chanel. She likes getting dressed up. She enjoys it. She’s always running out of cupboard room. Samantha did some modelling when she was younger.
10. Samantha is a domestic goddess; she actually really likes cleaning. She also loves to cook and to entertain. Samantha cooks every night. And she really, really enjoys it and cooks all sorts of cuisines - Anglo Indian food, Italian and Asian.

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

(auto-generated)

Hi, you're listening to My Body My Story podcast.

 

It's nice to be able to do that at a stage in your life to just not worry about every dollar worry about every emotion, worry about every consequence because the only person at the end of the day is going to impact is yourself.

This is the 45 or 45 chapter where we celebrate rule breakers and role models, the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show that sensuality, beauty, soul and true essence. Here we talk about what it's like to be 45 Plus, adjusting to the changes that come with time, and will listen to the stories of our participants. If you have an interesting story to share, we would love you to participate, you can email us on info@aleksandrawalker.com or visit our website, www. aleksandrawalker.com

Hi, everyone, and welcome to my body My Story project. And today we are having Samantha here at the studio. And while she's having a makeup and hair done by Nicole, I'll be asking her a few question. Hi, Samantha. And let's start and tell us a bit about yourself.

Sure. So look, I'm a mom of two girls. It's my pride and joy both when girls are in their 20s I'm a fiance soon to be married. I'm actually getting married in Paradise Island in the Bahamas. Eight weeks. I'm nervous. I'm excited. Yeah, there's a whole range of emotions going through my through my body, mind and soul at the moment. It's my third marriage. So it's doing it again. I said I wouldn't. But apparently it's third time lucky that phrase was invented for a reason. So yeah, really, really excited about that.

Congratulation.

Thank you. I'm living life by design as I approach 50. Great time in my life to actually be fortunate enough to pick and choose what I want to do in my life, how I want to work, how I want to show up, who I want to work with. So yeah, living life by design now as a solopreneur, and a bit of a boss woman. I started my business last year in September, people Mojo, it's an HR consultancy business, and it's going very, very well. And yeah, I'm putting all of my passion and energy into that at the moment to pipeline to build to promote who we are, and really just build credibility with partners.

I'm a netballer have been a netballer all of my life. I think I have had two gap years I started when I was five, I played professional netball for the state and for the region. When I was younger, not so fit anymore, but I love netball. I love the social side of it. And I love the physical side of it. My daughter, Jasmine, who's my youngest daughter, who is 21 Her and I play on the same end of the court as shooters. We've got the height. So we play together. And we have a bit of a bit of fun down there together and a little bit of healthy competition. About me as well - I always been tall. So I'm just over six foot. I was always in the back of the class photos at school, and always with the boys. I was great to find at concerts. Growing up I hated being tall though, because all of my girlfriends were even what we call an average height. Yeah. And I still stood out like a sore thumb. So, you know, it's something that you certainly grow into. And now as an adult, I absolutely love being tall. And people always say to me, I've been hard find when you're that tall? And the answer is no. I also get asked all the time. Why are you wearing heels? Well, because you can and why not? So I love being tall.

I'm very adventurous. I'll try anything. Once twice, give anything and go. I think life's too short to say no thank you. So I love being into new things and learning new things about others about environments about myself. I'm a bit of a fashion tart. I have a lot of Chanel. That is my brand. It's a nice brand to have a lovely brand to have. I'm very lucky. I had some really sort of high profile jobs a few years ago and I used to travel quite a lot and find myself in airports with a lot of time to kill. And unfortunately, that impacted my credit card. But what it does mean is that I have a very fond affection for Chanel, and he's my luxury brand and so yeah, I consider myself a fashion tart. I like getting dressed up. I enjoy it. I did some modelling when I was younger, so I think it stemmed from that, and just taking pride in myself. And when you've got two younger daughters as well, it's a good thing to be a bit of a role model as well. But yeah, I'm a second profession. I'm always running out of cupboard room. There's bags falling on my partner's head, and she used to die for in jewellery and anything like that. And then on the flip side, I'm a domestic goddess, I actually really like cleaning.

So we have very clean house. I love to cook, I love to entertain. I cook every night. And I really, really enjoy it. I find after sitting at my laptop for eight to 10 hours per day that cooking is my release. And I cook all sorts of cuisines. My heritage is Portuguese, Indian. So I cook a lot of Anglo Indian food, but equally probably cook as much Italian food and Asian food as well. So I really enjoy doing that. And as a result of that nice segue, I'm a foodie. I love wining, dining, eating all of the things associated with food recipes. Watching shows learning how to do things well and then learning how to do shortcuts for those midnight midweek meals. And last but not least, I just love to dance. I used to dance, jazz ballet and hip hop dance right up until my 30s. And then I realised when I was performing in concerts with my daughters that that probably wasn't a very cool thing to do. So I gave it up, but I love to dance, and I will dance like no one's watching. I don't care who's watching or not. Luckily, I am rhythmic. But I love to dance. It's my outlet as well. Well, that's me.

Wow. Many interesting facts. So how old are your daughters? You said they are in their 20s.

Natasha is 24 and Jasmine is 21. Oh, wow. It's bloody awesome.

So what are you most passionate about among all that things you told us? What's your biggest passion of all?

Really hard. This question was a tricky one. I definitely family first and foremost is my greatest passion. For sure my girls, my parents, my partner, and my dog Lola, who is a Puggle, and absolutely included as part of the family are absolutely my first priority always. And then I think at the moment, you know, my new side hustle, my passion project people Mojo is absolutely important for me, you know, emerging into you too slowly, once September rolls around. And I do really want to establish that level of credibility and be known for delivering unique and, you know, tailored, you know, HR services. So that's probably my second. And then third is definitely health and fitness for me. I've had a couple of hiccups along the way with my health. And it's made me realise couple of things like how important it is, but also how precious life is. And you just can't take that for granted because you don't know when it might be taken away from you. So health and fitness is probably my third. But yeah, always. My girls are my centre point. They always will be I make no, I'm not apologetic about that at all. Yeah. So yeah, that's probably my main focus,

Regarding your business. So whom do you work with mainly?  Is there a certain area, or certain businesses you specialize on, or which businesses are your main clients?

Yeah, so I'm really fortunate in what I'm trying to, you know, startup and that's working with businesses and individuals. So businesses are small to medium enterprises that potentially don't have an HR function, or they're looking to outsource a particular piece of HR work. At the moment, I'm working with a lot of startups, particularly tech startups, that don't quite have the policies, the processes, the procedures, the platforms ready to build the HR full HR landscape. So I come in, I do a piece of work. And I started and I finish it end to end. And then that's fantastic for them because they don't have to carry any, you know, permanent costs. Yeah. So that's mainly where I'm finding myself and look, individuals just want a service and a professional without the hefty price tag that they can talk to about their career, where they're going, their aspirations how they might get there. So I do a lot of career coaching in that space. And working with people that might be experiencing a workplace related issue could be like an grievance with their manager. Are or another person? Like, how do I work through it? How do I get through it or there could be wanting to figure out how to navigate through a really sticky situation or being bullied or harassed. So I work with those individuals to coach them around how to have conversations that get an outcome, basically. Yeah.

And where people can find you if they want to get in touch with you?

at my website. www.peoplemojo.com.au. It's in its first phase and second phase will be coming around September as we get into year two of the business it will be bigger and better. But for now, it's a good step.

Okay, perfect. All right. So let's move to the questions about ageing and the body issues or not maybe issues but body image. So I'd like to ask you with age, like you said, you're approaching 50th birthday.

Yes, January. Oh, wow.

I will not say congratulations, because it's still far away. And so what is your biggest positive change, that you see with age?

Biggest positive change, and I see with age, definitely a sense of calm and increased tolerance. For sure. Not taking life as seriously as I used to I take every day as it comes. I was a bit of a planner before and I think I was like that because the kids were young. And you have to know the comings, the goings, the meals, the shopping, all of that sort of stuff. civilities Yeah, because you're really responsible for you know, other people. Whereas now, I have the luxury of taking every day as it comes in. I also just think it comes with a level of emotional maturity. And then having lived through different experiences. So that for sure. Realising that life just comes and goes, I've had people around me that are my age that unfortunately passed away. So it's so important that you make every day count. Really, really important. And I think, you know, from a health perspective, and just being a woman is being okay, in my own skin. And with my own company, as well. I was on my own from for a while when I separated from my second husband, and I learned a lot about myself, and that it was okay to be on my own stand on my own. Yeah, and I didn't have that before, which is interesting. And I think because the kids always took up so much time and space, I forgot, just lost a little bit of me, and it'd be the year reflect. So that's definitely come. And then taking considered risks, as opposed to none at all, I was always just not taking any risks here. And again, maybe that was because I was very much you know, being a mom at that time. But now I take considered risks and they work. They work out well with, I think creating just a full complement of experiences and connections. Because if you don't put yourself out there, you don't know. So that's definitely something I would not have done, you know, not even maybe 10 years ago, to be honest,

once you feel free from obligation and mum role. I know that, because they have son of 21 year old, he just got his own life and I was like – Free! I don't have responsibilities anymore. I can do whatever I want. And I have my business for more than 10 years. But it's only once I started having it like without being in a mum role, it gave me more freedom, you know, to risk, as you said, to act, you know, do things which I wouldn't do before to be on the safe side, you know, so I do understand what you're talking about. It's a nice consequence of being older.

Definitely. And it's a nice, it's nice to be able to do that at a stage in your life to just not worry about every dollar, worry about every emotion, worry about every consequence, because the only person at the end of the day is going to impact is yourself. So yeah, it's a nice place to be.

And so what is your biggest challenge at the moment with age?

Look, definitely perimenopause. It's been really tough for me, started about two and a half years ago. And I can almost remember the day that it started because I just didn't get any sleep and couldn't figure out what it was. Perimenopause is something that was never discussed with me in my upbringing, in my childhood, or even as an emerging adult. It was such a taboo subject, I think when our parents had us and now it is not. And I think about all the topics that kids at school talk about, we've you know, LGBTQI and transgender and you know, perimenopause needs to come to the surface because it was a dreadful surprise for me. It affected me with sleeplessness, mood swings, irritability, night sweats, day sweats. Very, very, very bad memory loss, fatigue, foggy, you know, a whole range of things. And as a woman who is always on, and expected to be on, that was really difficult for me. So I've had to learn many strategies on how to manage that how to show up at work, how to present, give myself permission to just have a shit day, if I am, and let that be okay. I've been very vulnerable to communities in workplaces that want to know more about it, and how to manage it in their own workplaces. I recently was a guest speaker, at a forum that Fraser Jones held at the Crown. And I just got up and spoke about my story. And I was with some other amazing professionals there that really do specialise in the menopause space. And now we the three of us shared our story and hopefully imparted some knowledge on to other people, there are a couple of gentlemen in the crowd, which is really good to see, they were fathers of daughters. You know, so that was nice to see as well. And I really commend them for showing up at 7:30 in the morning to hear a session about menopause. So yeah, that that's probably been my greatest, you know, I think stretch and, you know, as I get older, and then just, you know, just days where you really do feel the emerging 50. And like the fatigue, and then of course managing your own business on top of all of that. In a stage of perimenopause, it's really hard. So I write down a lot of notes. I'm always writing stuff down because I forget things continually. There's post it notes everywhere. So yeah, that was my probably my unwanted and uneducated surprise, definitely.

Unpleasant surprise. They’re always unwanted. So what would you be the greatest accomplishment so far?

Yeah, look differently, above all else is motherhood. My girls are incredible. They've lived through northern most traditional life with, you know, a couple of marriages and a dad who sort of left quite early in the piece, and then a stepfather who was amazing. But you know, in the end, we grew apart, unfortunately. And now they've got a another partner of mums to get used to do and, you know, it's been a lot for them. And they are just the apple of my eye. They are both HR professionals as well. They both work in that industry. And I think we must just have it in our DNA. And, you know, they've both got lovely partners, they both leave on their own, and they're just so independent and beautiful and amazing. So by far, you know, I've obviously had a successful career and had some great jobs and met some great people on the way but yeah, nothing compares to the joy and the pain of motherhood, even the painful parts have been amazing. Really amazing. Yeah,

I'm with you on that. So I love this question. And if we would be able to travel back in time. And imagine you meet your 30 year old self, what would you tell her? What advice would you give her?

Yeah. Again, another hard question, so much advice. The first piece of advice I would give her would be don't settle for something that isn't quite right. I was raised in a Catholic quite traditional home environment. And you know, you get married, you have your two kids. You grab a mortgage, you have an offset account and off you go. You're set for life.

You never divorce.

Yeah, no. And I've had two divorces. I've had a mortgage done the offset account, which I don't believe in. So I think my lived experience in my reality has been quite different to how I was raised. So I think it's okay. To know that your parents aren't always right and you've got to find things out on your own. Um, the other piece is like not to lose sight of yourself. My 30 year old self had two kids, young kids, and everything was about them, which is, where it should have been and how I wanted it. But I also lost sight of me, which was a real pity. But I found me again after the first husband decided to not stay around so that that was a good thing. There's always a silver lining. And probably the last thing is when I was younger, even though I'm taking risks, now, I was impulsive. Sorry, I would say, let things marinate. Don't just be impulsive. Yeah, every dollar does matter. And every decision does matter. Every decision has a consequence. So yeah, probably be less impulsive. just marinate on things for a little while before you jump into them. Yeah.

Think twice. Yes. Yes. So, um, what advice would you give to younger women who will eventually reach this age, like will approach 50? And what would you tell them?

To take each day as it comes in not to plan too far ahead. Because you can't, you can't control what's ahead of you, you really can't. And it's just wasted energy and anxiety unnecessarily. Don't aim for perfect, because it just does not exist. My amazing finding, I think when I was in my late 30s, be comfortable with who you are, and honour the moment. Like cherish them. Absolutely. Don't be afraid to be bold, as well say what you think act, how you are, be be what you want, and give you self permission to have an off day. And then the last thing is where you can just stay fit and be natural. There's so much Botox and fillers and sucking your tummy. And have you got the right set of boobs and all of that sort of stuff is just trying to be natural, just grow old gracefully. It's okay, you know, what's happening in social media and mags, and you know, skinny mannequins, it's, it's all lovely, really is, but you're just gonna do you?

it's not real. So we just came to the next question about the body image. And where do you think this idea of perfect body image comes from? But you kind of answered that already. But maybe you want to add something on that question.

Um, social media, for sure. There's just so many opportunities to get caught up in that. TV and entertainment even shows like, you know, maths, and I don't know, I can't think of another one on the spot. But they're all in the Bachelor. They're all portraying these images of perfect people with perfect clothes. I think that's quite problematic. And then there's a certain type of behaviour that comes with that as well, which concerns me fashion magazines, and then because of all that external pressure, then we put pressure on ourselves. So yeah,

Just recently I've got this question to myself - Who benefits from that idea and that image, when you see this perfect body. or you said to the younger girls don't get caught up on all the Botox injections and everything? I think the first thing you should ask yourself, - Who is the biggest beneficiary, you know, for that? Like, who will basically earn money? Yeah, and

 

Who is the audience to get a positive outcome from it.

I think that it's created just for the industry for the plastic surgery, for pharmacies, I don't know what's whoever is benefiting from that. And yeah, I agree that the social media and media generally is the biggest influencer of the image. So what would it be for you - your perfect body?

My perfect body? What would it be? Um, so by definition, and by social media, and all the external influences, I don't have one, but I'm really happy with what I have. And I wouldn't change anything. Actually, to be perfectly honest. I'm blessed with height. I have hair in my head. I have some teeth. Yeah. You know, I've got good bone structure. I don't have anything to complain about.

You're healthy.

I'm healthy. You know, obviously, the purpose of the sessions is to pass on to some pass on information, educate others. I have stretch marks. I have tattoos that I regret. But they remind me to make better decisions. And I own what I have. Absolutely. And I will still get in a bikini. And I'm sure people go oh, look at all those stretch marks. I've had a rebound because my youngest kicked it out when she broke it when she was in there. Oh, wow. Time and rib scar, but you know, I just own what I've got, like, it is what it is.

What does it mean to you feeling good? Looking good. What comes first?

Definitely hands down. Feeling good always comes first. And it's certainly more important for me. I mentioned earlier that you know, I love fashion and I absolutely do, but I function from the inside out. And if I don't feel good, then I don't believe I can look good. And so I need to organise all my experiences in my mind and body before I present and show up.

But didn't you have sometimes a shitty day then when you feeling low? And then you put on some Chanel? Accessory or some something and you start suddenly feeling a bit better?

Oh, absolutely. I can put on a pair of earrings. Put my you know, fake hair piece in in my leopard print heels. And I'm, I'm good to go. Definitely bounce in my step for sure. But, you know, at some point later in that day, I will still feel pretty average. So I try to go inside out first always. But yeah, if I need to. What's it, there's that saying? Fake it till you make it? Yeah, so fine. There have been days like that for sure. I'm a woman and I don't you know, I don't want to pretend here that every day is amazing. For sure night. You do wake up exactly how you how you said Alexandra. And yeah, I can fake it till I make it. But that's not who I want to be. It's not the core of who I am.

And what makes you feel the most beautiful?

Yeah, so awesome question. By the way, I definitely my partner, he's gorgeous. He always will say call me beautiful. Or today he sent me a text message saying how's my sexy fiance? You know, and that just puts absolutely the biggest smile on my face that he thinks of me that way. So I feel beautiful when he says that. My daughters do because this is gonna sound shallow, but I see me in them. But also because I'm so proud of them that I think, Okay, I did something right in my life when I see them in action, and they're always hugging and kissing each other. And they literally live, I think maybe about 350 metres away from each other. Yeah, which is really awesome. And so they're always together. And that makes me feel beautiful. Because I think okay, I really did something quite right in my life or the other mistakes I made along the way. Laundry, always makes me feel beautiful. Always. Even if it's just for me, and that most of the time. You know what it is just for me. And I know, it's I know it's on. Yeah. And so I feel beautiful. I love that. Perfume, just a little square ffU. And I'm good to go. So it’s like magic. I feel beautiful. And I do have to say to faithful red lipsticks. When I'm feeling we were talking about previously a little flat little bit, you know, it's lumpy for the day, and red lipstick just popped. And I feel amazing. We've been on I feel beautiful. And I'm lucky because it got dark here then we had just, you know, it just pops. And so yeah, there would be things and they were no in no particular order. I just you know, they are some of the things that make me feel beautiful.

Oh, that's nice. And my last question is also like this question. If you have any. What is your favourite quote about being a woman or saying or thought maybe?

Okay, so all of my favourite quotes about being from a woman come from Lady Gaga. First and foremost. She's got one in particular. Well, I resonate with quite a few. But the one that stands out, for me the most and this is probably because of my experiences that I've lived through is - ”Do not allow people to dim your shine because they are blinded”. So I just leave on and I keep on keeping on, and I you know, there's days where you have to dig really deep and find the faith in yourself. But yeah, I don't let anyone dim my shine.

Excellent. Thank you Samantha so much. Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and joining the project. I hope you will enjoy the rest of the day in your photo shoot. And welcome again.

Thank you, Alexandra. Thank you also for being an advocate for women. It's awesome

If you have an interesting story to share would love for you to participate. You can email us on info@aleksandrawalker.com or visit our website, www. aleksandrawalker.com

This is the 45 over 45 chapter of MY BODY MY STORY podcast, where we celebrate rule breakers and role models - the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show their SENSUALITY,  BEAUTY, SOUL, and TRUE ESSENCE.

 

For more information about the project visit:

https://www.aleksandrawalker.com/45-over-45

 

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