#46 My Body My Story 45 Over 45 - Angela - Bringing back her Independence

In this episode, you will learn 10 FACTS about Angela and what she thinks about perfect body image, positive changes, and challenges of 45+ women, what is it for her to feel good and look beautiful, and what advice she would give younger women and 30-year-old self!

 

10 Facts About Angela

(at the time of the project)

1. 50 years old.
2. Angela is a single mum of two beautiful teenagers – her daughter Ellen is 18 and her son Vuk is 16 years old.
3. She has just come out of marriage and back to where she was in her 20s. Now Angela has all the opportunities in the world opened up again for her. So, she is doing as many things as she possibly could after 20 years of having quite a limited outlook on life.
4. Angela was born in Margate in the UK. But her family lives in Ramsgate. And she actually lives in Ramsgate here in Sydney. So her family is kind of like that.
5. Angela left the UK in 1999 and she moved to the Czech Republic and was a teacher over there for two years. She came to Australia first in 2002 and then she moved back to Europe in 2006 and lived in Belgrade in Serbia for eight years before coming back here to Australia.
6. When Angela was younger, she lived in Belgium and France for a bit.
7. Angela is a teacher of students who have severe intellectual and physical disabilities. And she absolutely loves her job. It inspires her every day, these amazing individuals who are always so resilient and strong.
8. Angela’s greatest accomplishments are her kids and bringing her independency back by leaving a marriage that was making her very, very unhappy.
9. The biggest challenge at this age is coming out of a 20-year marriage and having nothing from it.
10. Positive change with age – “I think the general feeling of I'm happy with who I am. And, yeah, you don't care so much what other people think anymore.”

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

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Hi, you're listening to the My Body My Story podcast.

 

Don't give up your independence don't change who you are to try and please others. Just believe in yourself and follow your gut.

 

This is the 45 or 45 chapter where we celebrate rule breakers and role models, the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show that sensuality, beauty, soul and true essence. Here we talk about what it's like to be 45 Plus, adjusting to the changes that come with time, and will listen to the stories of our participants. If you have an interesting story to share, we would love you to participate, you can email us on info@aleksandrawalker.com or visit our website, www. aleksandrawalker.com

 

Hi, everyone, and welcome to my body, My Story project. And today with us, Angela, and while she's sitting in the makeup chair, and Citra is doing makeup for her. I'll be asking her a few questions. Hi, Angela. And let's start and tell us a bit about yourself.

 

Hi. I'm turning 50 in like three weeks. Wow. So this was a bit of a treat for myself. I'm a single mum, I have two beautiful teenagers, my daughter Ellen will turn 18 In July, and my son Vuk will turn 16 in July. The reason Life's good. They inspire me and challenge me every day, I just come out of the marriage. And I'm like, back to where I was I feel like I'm where I was when I was like 20 Something now I have that those opportunities in that the world opened up again for me. So I'm trying to take every opportunity and do as many things as I possibly could after 20 years of having quite a limited outlook on life. I'm a teacher of students who have severe intellectual and physical disability. And I absolutely love my job inspires me every day, these amazing individuals who you think their life is going to be a lot tougher, but they're always so resilient and strong. And I love my job. I've lived in Australia, I came here first in 2002. And I just know that this is the place I meant to be I feel I've come home. So for me, I can understand this whole connection with country because when I'm here, I just feel like I belong here.

 

And where are you from originally?

 

I was born in Margate in the UK, but my family will come live in Ramsgate. And I actually live in Ramsgate here in Sydney. So my family kind of like that. I've gone from one landscape to another. I left the UK in in 1999. And I moved to the Czech Republic and was a teacher over there for two years. And then I came to Australia once I got my visa and lived here and then I moved back to Europe in 2006 and lived in Belgrade in Serbia, or Wow. With my then husband and lived there for eight years before coming back here to Australia. So I've travelled a lot. And when I was younger, I lived in France for a bit. When I was a child. We lived in Belgium when I was little so yeah, it's kind of in my blood. I feel until I've come here and now I'm like

 

yeah, you feel like you are you are in your perfect place.

 

Yeah, my children want to go back and live in the UK. And they keep saying when we go back you're gonna come with this mama. And I'm like, they like it. They're, well they have economy. They go there to visit nanny and granddad and my brother and all my family and so for them it's like this holiday.

 

Maybe let them leave a bit and they’ll come back here it's wonderful. So you mentioned, you work with disability children. So is it a school or it's like a center ?

 

it's a school in Cobra. And it's the students from kindergarten up to year 12. We have 66 students in our school it's a lot and the majority are confined to wheelchairs. The majority of classes nonverbal but they have a way of we work with them to find defeat. ways of communicating. And they're amazing. And I love my job. I worked with the year 10 And year 11. So same age as my children. And I really enjoy being with teenagers there as well. I'm actually primary chat trained. I don't think I'll ever go back to primary. I like secondary. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry about teenagers, though.

 

That's a challenging job.

 

Yeah, it is.

 

But you love it.

 

Yeah. So much.

 

So what are you most passionate about?

 

Giving them their voice, because they have so much to say, and they don't, they aren't able to, like we can. And not to, you know, underestimate them, that just people label them. And they've got so much, they've got to say, and share and feel that you have the same emotions as anybody else. And really hard for 17-year-old to be able to express that, you know, I see my children and how they, when they're angry or upset, it's hard enough for them, and they, you know, verbal. So for my students, it's really important that I'm able to give them a voice.

 

So what's the main thing you teach them? If there's one thing?

 

Well, we have to teach the curriculum as any other student, they're entitled to education just as any other child in Australia. And so we have to do the same education as is provided in other schools, but we just have to adapt it, to enable them to access it better.

And what the main lesson would you give them?

 

That their voice matters, that their opinions matter, that their thoughts and feelings matter. And that, you know, they have the right to say no, just as anybody else does. It's really important for our students.

 

Sounds really interesting. And I also want to ask if, what would you want to say to adult who kids or to adults who sometimes cross paths with kids like that? What would you tell them?

 

Just to treat them as you treat anybody else, they're no different just because they're in a wheelchair, or they have a disability. I have the same feelings and thoughts as anyone else. And I'm so happy this year that Dylan Alcott is the Australian of the Year. He's a real inspiration for my students. Yeah. So you know, they can achieve and they're able to do stuff just like anybody else, just in a different way.

 

Excellent. So let's move to our age. And we know that with age we change. But what positive changes have you experienced so far?

 

I think the general feeling of I'm happy with who I am. I don't look at myself anymore. And think, Oh, I wish I looked like there's always like that. I'm content with who I am. And, yeah, you don't care so much what other people think anymore. I think that comes with age, and a confidence that you might not have had when you were younger. You want I don't feel I'm so bothered by what other people think of me anymore.

 

Oh, it's like a lot of women say that. But I'm just wondering why. Why suddenly we decide like, I don't care. Like what is the trigger for that? Because we were thinking about others and then suddenly we think no, that's me time. What triggers that change? You know, that turn?

 

For me? I think personally, it was coming out of a marriage that was linked, right? Yeah. And when I left it, I realised that I been the bottom of the pile for so long. And tried to do everything to please somebody else. And it never worked. So now I'm just going to police myself. And that's given me this kind of or, Hey, I can do anything now. No good. Stop me.

 

And so what is the biggest challenge at the moment with coming with age?

 

Um, the one thing that concerns me here, and for me at this age is particularly coming out of a 20 year marriage and having nothing from it. I've left with nothing that I don't have a lot of money. I'm you know 15 Next months, and what does that mean for me when I'm older? When will I be able to finish work will ever be able to buy a house will have some security? That's a worry. For me. The biggest challenge,

 

I think, yeah, I can understand even with the having something still you start thinking, Okay, I'm going older and then need security to get prepared for some health issues. Or, you know, where do I leave? What do I do?

 

It because I rent, I don't think I'll ever be able to buy in Sydney. It's just so out of my league. Yeah. But I'm particularly in I live next to the beach. I don't want to change my lifestyle, either. So I'm happy to continue renting, but it does worry me for the future. So that's my biggest challenge, I think.

 

So what would you if you could go back in time and meet your 30 year old self? What would you tell her?.

 

Don't give up your independence, don't change who you are to try and please others. Don't change your name. That's been a nightmare, changing it back. Just believe in yourself and follow your gut. Because everything else might lie to you. But your gut instinct doesn't. And if you ignore that, yeah, I know that I did. Say if I was talking to myself again, just be strong, relieving yourself.

 

And what would you say to younger women who will eventually reach this age and undergo the changes? What advice would you give them?

 

That it's actually really liberating. And I remember being an 18-year-old looking at my mother thinking, holy moly, I don't want to get to that age. I don't want to be looking like that. I don't want to you know, feel so old, but you don't. And you just feel better. There's no suggest to embrace it.

 

Actually, you mentioned that now. I think it's interesting that when you 20 you think oh my god 50 is being old and you approach that age and think - oh my god, I still feel the same. Yeah. I just look a bit different.

 

And I have more confidence than I had when I was 20. I'm not scared to go out by myself or do things by myself. They're 20 I would have been

 

So what is your greatest accomplishment so far?

 

There's two sides to it having my children I think, but also leaving a marriage that was making me very, very unhappy. And had done for years. And I thought I couldn't and eventually it took me a long time. But for me, I think that was the biggest thing. The best thing I've ever done

 

Bringing back your independency.

Because we have my body My Story project and it's to do with body and old all the aspects of body image. Where do you think the idea of perfect body perfect body image comes from?

 

I'm sure everybody says the same it's the media but then that changes over time doesn't it? You think about the 1950s It's Marilyn Monroe and she was there like perfect body but she was you know voluptuous and curvy and then it changed and slowly we had to be thin and young. I am hoping that you know social media will slowly change again and it will be celebrating all women as we are but I do think it contributes to a lot magazines and how you should look and if you're not happy with this change that and that worries me for my daughter.

 

Oh, now it's different trend, the opposite, like it's called body positive but it's also at some point goes to …like for me from my point of view.. too much letting it go which I also think is wrong. I think that body positive should be being comfortable and healthy in your body, but you cannot if you unhealthy if you are overweight kind of to the extent that it damages your health, you're trying to pursue yourself that okay, I'm fine. I'm, I feel good in this body. I think it's like fooling yourself. You know?

 

I mean, I do know for myself that if I don't feel physically fit, then I don't feel I look good either. Yeah. So for me being physically fit and exercising, means I look good. And then I don't I think I have a positive body image then

 

Being healthy and feeling good. That's your perfect body. Yeah. And so what is it for you feeling good and looking good? What comes first?

 

Feeling good? Feeling good? Without a doubt.

 

And what makes you feel the most beautiful?

 

Oh, that's hard. I didn't feel beautiful for so long. I think for me, my independence and my freedom make me feel beautiful. Because now when I look at photos, I see myself smiling and I am happy instead of smiling and I wasn't. So that makes me feel beautiful because I'm happy inside. Yeah, I don't. It's got nothing to do with clothes or physical look now. It's yeah, what's in here?

 

Inside? Yeah. Great. And my last question, if you have any, what is your favourite quote or saying or thought about being a woman.

 

I saw this on Instagram the other day. And there's no whatever one I follow, and it's got some quotes on it. And some are really good and some are awful. But this one basically said, you can't be strong every day. Sometimes you need to scream, cuss, fall on the floor and cry, but you always have to get up and be the badass you were meant to be. So I just thought that pretty much summed it up.

 

I love it. I love it. Thank you very much. Thank you very much for joining our project and I hope you will enjoy the rest of the day in your photo shoot and the makeup and hair will Chitra will finish for you. And welcome again.

 

Thank you. It's lovely to be here.

 

If you have an interesting story to share would love for you to participate. You can email us at  info@aleksandrawalker.com or visit our website, www. aleksandrawalker.com

This is the 45 over 45 chapter of MY BODY MY STORY podcast, where we celebrate rule breakers and role models - the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show their SENSUALITY,  BEAUTY, SOUL, and TRUE ESSENCE.

 

For more information about the project visit:

https://www.aleksandrawalker.com/45-over-45

 

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