#37 My Body My Story 45 Over 45 - Mirella

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If we tried to describe this episode, we would have to write a book. Mirella is a very knowledgeable, smart and philosophical person. She has a unique perspective on all the questions we asked her – on aging, relationships, body image, and many more.

Just listen to the episode and enjoy her storytelling style.

 

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT (auto-generated) : 

 

Hi Mirella, welcome to our studio and welcome to the project. And while he's sitting in the makeup chair and Chitra is doing makeup for you. I'll be asking you a few questions. Does us a bit about yourself?

 

Where do I begin? I'm a Leo. I am I think I'm 46. And I live in Sydney. I was born and raised here. My parents are of Italian background. But I'm very, very much Australian. And I actually can't believe I'm doing this. I've never done anything like this before. It's actually a bit of fun.

So what are you most passionate about?

People say I have a fairly intense personality. That's quite true. I carry an insane amount about politics for some reason. I don't know why it's quite maddening. I care about people being mistreated. I do love animals. I care a great deal about culture, heritage, traditions, philosophy, psychology, these are the things I care about. I care about the logic of human culture and how people interact. And how we can enjoy ourselves more without hurting each other. Really. They're the things I care about.

That's nice. So everyone knows that we with each we change and what positive changes have you experienced so far?

The most wonderful thing that I wish young people understood as you get older, and I was lucky to figure this out early. You really do need to stop caring what people think. And that sounds easier than done. But the reality is, is that if you're confident you're in a top 10 percentile of people around you.

And as you get older, you need to realise not everybody's looking at you, everybody's so worried about themselves. Once you understand that, you've got a lot more freedom to fail. And to grow. You must have confidence, even if you don't have it, fake it.

I like the saying “freedom to fail”.

You have to have freedom to fail. Otherwise, you don't move in any direction. It's very hard to accept. And it takes a lot of strength to do that. So you have to have a lot of courage to do that. I see a lot of young women and I think I really wish you understood this. But they won't know until they get older. And it's a bit of a tragedy. Because when you're younger you spend so much energy trying to please other people. You should really should not doesn't mean you treat people badly, but you understand what I mean. Got one other thing that I understood being older. Oh, I also understood this from an early age, take care of your body because you will age there is no way around it you will age it's just up to you how you age. And finally, unfortunately, as grim as it sounds, you will also die, all of us die. So the best thing you can do is make some attempt to plan your life and understand that you will be limited at certain points. As horrible as that sounds, but it's not actually a negative message here but this is subject or most of the people don't like think about the mortality.

It's real though it you cannot escape it. You might as well think about death and think about transformation. And it's extremely important. Otherwise, you don't live your life. You can't postpone things.

Yeah, you know that's true. Yeah, we tend to postpone and wait for the better time but today.

That's right. And there isn't a better time.

And what is the biggest challenge for you, at this age?

The biggest challenge is trying to fit in all of the things that I haven't yet done, I've achieved a lot. But you realise there's so much more you would like. And in life, you do have to sometimes compromise. And I have, and there are a few things I have left to do. And the biggest challenge for me is trying to juggle maintaining my health as I get older, because I end up with new issues, which are things that I never had to deal with before, when you're younger, you're much more resilient. As you get older, you're not nearly as resilient. And I'm not just talking about your skin and elasticity, you just don't bounce back from setbacks, as easily. You would think you get better with it with practice, but in actuality, I believe it wears you down. And that's why when as you get older, you literally don't have as much stamina and energy to deal with the things that you used to deal with when you're younger. And that's my other challenge. You get bored if you like, by life, you end up feeling as though you've had every conversation you're going to have you've met every man you're going to meet you've you can't discover anything new. Becoming jaded is death. If you don't desire anything, you're dead. And that's my single biggest challenge. Thinking I don't want anything more. It's really difficult.

Well, I'm with you here. It's challenging to find your interest which really captured you.

When you're young, everything is interesting and exciting. That's exactly it. Matthew Viner Oh, he wrote Mad Men and The Sopranos. Oh, sorry, talk of his once and he said, by the time you're 40, you will realise you have had every conversation you will ever have. And I was knocked by that sideways. I thought, Oh, no. Is that really true? Please don't be true, but it's true. And that's okay. I just have to figure out a way to make life more fascinating for me. I just worry that I'm going to be too cynical and jaded because that's very difficult for me not to be cynicism and a lack of fascination with life. It's paralysing,

...but I think the fact that you're talking about this, and you realise that, you're already not cynical.

Yeah, I am a bit but if you get me in different moods at the moment, I think I'm just trying to be very logical and calm, and extremely sensible. But some days, I do throw my arms up in the air, and I'm exceedingly cynical. And I honestly think there's no point. And then other days, I want to fight some mood. It's my mood.

Yeah. And we are allowed to be different.

Yes, yes. I mean, no one person is going to have the same mood or feel the same every day. And I can't do much about that.

So, so far, what would you describe as your greatest accomplishment?

Nothing's ever good enough. For me. That's a very difficult question to answer.

I think there's something I would love to do still, I worry that maybe it's past me. I need there's one thing left, there's one thing I really want. And that's to find some sort of creative, artistic outlet. That's the one thing left on my list. But in terms of my achievements. Oh, oh, Lord, it's not my education. It's not actually, you know what? As weird as it sounds, my ability to create and find and make friends. It's my social network. I really believe the people that I have found along the way. I'm a testament to my collection skills. I've surrounded myself by some very great people. And I think that is weirdly My greatest accomplishment. That's a great one. Well, connections really all that matters. In this life. When you expire, the people you knew and the things that you did are the most important things.

That's true. And you feel it when you're like me moving to a new country and finding yourself on your own. And that's where you really realise That's the connection and people and your tribe. Is that important for your quality life? Yeah. So I think it is a great accomplishment.

So, if you could travel back in time and meet your 30 year old self, what would you tell her? What advice would you give her?

Break up with people earlier. In reality, people waste your time if you let them. And don't let that happen, have more confidence to walk away. And don't question yourself worth, although that's almost impossible to tell people. But that's more relationship advice. I would say the only area that I am particularly annoyed about is how I've conducted myself in relationships, in that I have waited too long to leave. So please just move on swiftly. Just keep moving. Because other people will waste your time if you let them. Many people don't know what they want. You need to know what you want. And time is limited. And time on this earth is so limited, it seems long, but it's not. I look back now and I find myself saying I've known someone for 30 years. What? Yeah, when did that happen? Yeah, that's what I find amazing. I'm very grateful. I've known these people for 30 years, but I'm absolutely gobsmacked that I have 30 years to my credit, where I've been alive and sentience. And I can say I have known another human being for 30 years. That's very sobering.

And what advice would you give younger women who will eventually reach this age and undergo these changes?

Be careful how much you chase your youth. Try and age gracefully. understand who you are, and what your personality is. That's extremely important to figure out early. Try and stay true to yourself. Always be self-sufficient, no matter what I've been very fortunate in that I am completely financially independent. And I've never relied on anyone I know that's not a possibility for everyone. But do your best to make sure that happens. I can't stress it enough.

So if we move to the perfect body image idea, where do you think it comes from?

Personally, a popular culture and media, unfortunately, then that's fairly obvious. It's changed a lot over the, through the ages. And women who are overweight, were impale were better looking. And, you know, maybe three or 400 years ago or so and that kind of thing. And then even from say, I would say the 50s, we saw a radical change, as women became a lot thinner in magazines. And I think it's easier for clothes to hang off. women that are a lot thinner. So that's where I think the body image comes from. What do I think of it? Are you asking me what I am?

Yes. And what do you think of that? Yeah. And what is it for you?

Perfect body would not be perfect body. Because we come in all shapes and sizes. I once thought I don't know how this will slot in. But I've never really been that interested in fashion. I care about style, I don't really care about fashion. And I always thought to myself, how is it that one person can be or two people can be wearing the same dress and yet it won't look the same, you know, one person will look better, and then I realised the clothes I buy doesn't matter. You know, it's none of that matters how much I spend on something won't matter how much makeup I wear, it won't matter my body matters. And my body is my most important fashion accessory. So to all women, I would say do the best with whatever it is you have. Be very mindful of whether or not you're going to get any surgery, you're better off without it. Be an exercise, diet, whatever it is take a very, very close interest in your health. Because if you have a good body and face with whatever it is you have, you'll look good in anything. You'll look good in a paper bag, it won't matter and it really does and looking good naked is also extremely important. So for me, being beautiful or looking beautiful. is about looking the best you can possibly be with what you have and looking as natural possible thing as real as possible, that might not be always possible. But that for me, I can see that in people. And obviously, for persons beautiful on the inside, as well as the out, that really helps. Because eventually somebody will find out if you're an awful person.

That's true. And very fast, very near and it radiates out. That's the other thing, I've found people that you may not look at particularly closely. Once they start speaking, once they become animated, they transform, and they become extremely beautiful. So there's many ways in which you can convey beauty, you can be beautiful. And, unfortunately, also, it depends who you're interacting with. Some people can see it and some people cannot.

And what makes you feel the most beautiful?

Now being desired, which is really sad. I should feel beautiful in my own skin. And sometimes I do. Being desired is really sadly, when I feel the most beautiful, I think

I think it's very natural, you know, like It comes from woman's nature.

Yeah, I'd been lying if I said that wasn't true. They absolutely lying

And what does it mean to you feeling good? And looking good? What comes first? For you? I already know the answer. But I'd like you to answer.

What comes first feeling good or looking good. They kind of go hand in hand, because when I'm feeling good, I look great. And I definitely have more confidence when I know I'm stronger, physically stronger, fitter. And my skin's clear and I look healthy. So yeah, both. They're the same to me, but they're the same.

And do you have any favourite quotes about being a woman?

There are a few. There's actually a Public Enemy song. Called Oh, which one? It's on fear of a Black Planet. Revolutionary generation. That's right. It's like from the early 90s. But Chuck D this rapper is like, what's the line? It's not “behind every great man there's a great woman”. But it's essentially that kind of notion. And there is I mean, that's true. But I think one of my favourite quotes from a woman, actually is Maya Angelou quote about courage. She said that courage is the most important virtue to have. Because if you don't have that you can't practice any of the other virtues. And she's a powerhouse of an individual. She's dead now. But she was an extremely strong woman. So in terms of being a woman, I can't really think so much about that. But something that a woman said. Yeah, I definitely agree with that. I wish people had more courage.

Well, thank you. Mirella. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. And it was very interesting to listen to you and hope you will enjoy the rest of the day and your photoshoots thank you so much.

 

If you have an interesting story to share would love for you to participate. You can email us on info@aleksandrawalker.com or visit our website, www. aleksandrawalker.com

 

This is the 45 over 45 chapter of MY BODY MY STORY podcast, where we celebrate rule breakers and role models - the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show their SENSUALITY,  BEAUTY, SOUL, and TRUE ESSENCE.

 

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https://www.aleksandrawalker.com/45-over-45

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