#34 My Body My Story 45 Over 45 - Terri

🎧  In this episode, Terri tells that she was raised in a small country town called Crookwell, which is a couple of hours away from Sydney. Being the 10^th child among 11 children, she has eight sisters and two brothers. She is also a mum of four children and has one grandson.

Terri talks about her passion for her family, motorbike riding, and boxing training. She is also very passionate about creating opportunities for happiness, not only for herself, but for others also.

She says that she has started a company called TNP events, which is going to be launched next year. it's actually a concept that Terri has developed herself which she is calling Destination Unknown. It’s basically providing social opportunities for mature aged people to get together. These will be events where people will arrive, and Terri will take them somewhere, they won't know where they're going, and host an evening for men and women over the age of 45+.

Terri also talks about the importance of keeping the sisterhood alive and women supporting each other.

Her advice to younger women is -

Be true to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Look after yourself physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Practice gratitude and mindfulness. Surround yourself with positive like-minded people.

And LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT (auto-generated) : 

Hi, Terry, welcome to our studio and welcome to project while you sitting in the makeup chair and Chitra is doing makeup for you. I will ask you a few questions. Let's start and tell us a bit about yourself. Okay,

So my name is Terry. I'm 52 years old. I currently live in Wollongong in New South Wales. I was raised in a small country town called Crookwell, which is a couple of hours away from Sydney. I'm one of 11 children, I have eight sisters and two brothers. So I'm number 10 in the ranking there, so I just have a brother who's younger than myself. I have four children. Three of my children, were two one relationships. I have a daughter, Kezia, she's 28. My son Joseph is 27. And my daughter Tatiana, is 26. So I am, I was a single mom with those three children. I can't say I raised them on my own because I had the help of my amazing family and friends. And now I also have a four year old son, his name is Anthony. And I also have a two and a half year old grandson. So my little boy Anthony is already an uncle. Yes. So I am, I'm engaged to an amazing man, his name's Rob. He's such a gentle soul. And I'm just blessed to be able to spend the rest of my life with him. What else can I say about myself? You're waiting on? Oh, yes. So we're engaged to be married. So we're up to take three of our wedding plans that we had to postpone twice due to COVID restrictions. So hopefully all go well for me next year. And we can finally get married. Getting married is something that's very important to both of us. We're not overly religious in particular. But making that commitment to each other in front of our family and friends, is very important to us. So we're just going to plan the biggest party that we can possibly imagine. And I know some people say, oh, you should just know, you've been together for so long. Why bother with the wedding. But our response to that is, well, we don't want to buy a caravan. We don't go an expensive holidays, we want to have a big party so that we're happy to just spend the money and have all our family and friends with us to celebrate that special day for us. Sounds great. So in a previous life, so prior to having Anthony, I was I gave up my career gladly so that I could bring Anthony into the world. And that would have been the easiest decision I've ever had to make in my life. I think I was a finance and accounting professional. So I worked for many years in that field. I was originally at a younger age studying journalism. And when I fell pregnant at a young age, and then I had three children, I kind of realised the trajectory that I was on in my life that I was probably going to end up being a single mother and that a journalism career would not fit the bill or put food on our table. So I changed to the business degree. It wasn't my passion at the time. But you know, I made the most of it. And I've experienced a lot of different industries and a lot of different jobs. And I've just made the most of it. And I've been very blessed with the positions that I have held. So my I haven't got the perfect life. But I would have to say that I'm pretty happy with the life that I'm living at the moment I'm perfectly happy.

It's so nice to hear. And what are you most passionate about?

I guess the the usual of the most obvious answer would be family. I'm also very passionate about creating opportunities for happiness, not only for myself, but for others also. So while some people might consider it midlife crisis, perhaps I choose to not call it that, I just choose to call it creating opportunities for myself. So I'm passionate about my motorbike riding that I've recently taken up. So I'm very new to the motorbike world. And I'm very passionate about the women that I ride with, I only ride in women's groups. So we have a lot of fun together. I'm also passionate about boxing, I don't fight in any fights, I just boxing train, but I love my training. And I love the people who train me that part of my life. Also, as I said, I'm passionate about providing opportunities for happiness. So my newest passion is a business that I'm going to launch next year. So I've started a company called TNP events. And it's basically providing social opportunities for mature aged people to get together. Not a dating thing, but just the opportunity. And it's actually a concept that I've developed myself, which I'm calling destination unknown. Because in life, our destiny is unknown, it just happens, we can make it, make it whatever it is, I believe. So these will be events where people will arrive, and I will take them somewhere, they won't know where they're going, they will just get onto a bus and I will take them somewhere and host an evening for men and women over the age of 45x, I find that that's a market where it's very difficult for people of our age to actually meet people without having to go to nightclubs or places that you know, that probably wouldn't frequent nowadays. So I'm very excited about that. That's just in the early stages at the moment is developing my website. But watch this space. So hopefully it will take off.

So you don't have any website or social media accounts?

I have my website address, but I'm just developing it at the moment. So you would see nothing when you went to it. But yeah, it will be up and running very soon.

But in case someone will be listening to this podcast year later, and they would like to go and check your website. What's the name of it?

it is T and P events.com.au. They can email me at info at TMP events.com.au. Happy to answer any emails.

Yeah, actually I never heard about this kind of idea, it is a really nice idea.

Yes, it will be a hosted evening. So it's not just here, we're in a big hall, have fun together. There are things that will happen during the evening. I think, you know, even though we're mature people, we still like to have a little bit of fun. And I like to play a few games every now and again, just to break the ice and get people comfortable with each other. So I think it's gonna be a lot of fun.

It's a very great concept. I love it. I'm really looking forward for to see how it will come out.

Please let all your friends know. Everyone.

So everyone knows that with age we change but what positive changes you have experienced so far?

Okay, well, I'm definitely more conscious of what my body now needs to function properly. I'm more in tune with myself, both spiritually and emotionally. And and I know my mind, I know what it is that I want. And I'm comfortable with who I am.

Yes, very important thing. And so what is the biggest challenge you're experiencing at the moment?

So I'm generally the glass half full person, I look on the bright side, I always try to maintain a positive outlook and face challenges head on, and then move on. But over the last few years, life's kind of rock, my life's been rocked a little bit with the passing of my father, just over a year and a half ago. You know, we all know the saying the two things in life that are certain a death and taxes and we all say one day, you know, we're all going to die, but I hadn't experienced a loss like that before in my life. So the biggest challenge that I'm experienced now is accepting that it doesn't last forever. And you know, this is going to come to an end the life that I have with my family and my children and learning to live with that deep grief that comes with this loss.

Realising our mortality. Absolutely, yeah. sometimes can be very painful realisation and we do really need to learn how to live with that with this knowing in keeping enjoying the life and, you know, still placing some goals ahead of us. So yeah, it's it's the tough challenge.

Absolutely. And the challenge for us as a family as well, because we're all very close to the 11 brothers and sisters and we My parents, we've all been so very close. So the challenge for us will be now is maintaining that. And my mom is the most amazing woman, and she is the glue that keeps us all together. And we're all holding each other up at the moment. So yeah, just learning how to live differently now.

Yeah, I understand. I had a similar experience with our dad, and it's been nine years ago, and still, we are missing him. Let's say that is never goes away. We just learn to live with it and it just fades out a bit. And you feel the pain pretty much for the rest of your life.

So on a positive note, what is your greatest accomplishment?

Yeah. And so far, absolutely. On a personal level, without a doubt, it is being able to carry children in my womb, to carry a human being in my womb and give them life four times. To me, I think women, we rock that we have that capacity to do that. And I think we just so privileged that our bodies enable us to do that. So for me, that is my greatest accomplishment by far, to be able to bring life into this world. And from a professional point of view, my greatest accomplishment would have been the contribution I made as a business manager. In the role that I gave up to have my son, I was a business manager for a organisation that provides services to women and children who are victims of domestic violence. So any contribution that I made in that space, I think, I feel very accomplished. It's it, we've got to keep working in that space, obviously, but you know, that I was able to contribute in some way. Yeah, I was it was a personal accomplishment for me. Yes. Yeah, it's

.. like, there's a saying that the ocean consists of small drops.

If you if you could go back in time and meet your 30 year old self? What advice would you give her?

Okay, so when I was 30, I'd already made the conscious decision then to finally leave the biological father of my three children. So I was a single mom with three children, they were aged six, five and four at that time. So the advice I'd give myself at that age of 30, would be Terry, listen to your mother, would be the first thing I would say. Make the make the conscious choice to be happy. practice gratitude and mindfulness. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made in the past. And don't be afraid to ask for help. And, Terry, if you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on being what you've always been, nothing will change unless you make a change.

That's a great

mantra. Yes.

So and if he will give advice to younger women who will eventually undergo the age changes were going through now what it would be?

Okay, well, first of all, there's no blueprint for how things are meant to be as we age, how we're meant to act, how we're meant to look, or feel. So we need to just embrace that ageing process. So I guess it's fairly similar to what I would have told my younger self, be true to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. And don't forget to keep looking after yourself physically, spiritually, and emotionally. practice gratitude and mindfulness and girls, for God's sakes support each other. I think we lose that a lot of the time, women seem to be our own worst enemy sometimes. So we really need to, like keep the sisterhood alive and support each other. And surround ourselves with positive like minded people. And listen to your mother. I have a very wise mother.

It's the greatest to do. So if we go to body image, conversation, and where do you think the idea of this perfect body image comes from?

My goodness, you only need to Google perfect body image to see what comes up. I did this just last night and it was what you'd expect to see the glossy magazine print the muscles. Lean the lean body type So I think definitely industries and corporations who stand to profit from these images perpetuate this. It's perpetuated by the media. I also think it's people's infatuation with celebrities and with lives outside of their own, like what we would call the normal world. And I like I have to ask myself is the image that we have of a perfect body? Is it something that's ingrained in us is does it come from our own insecurities like I know growing up as a young girl, I was fortunate enough to not have to worry too much about body image but the magazines were there, the Dali magazines, we were all reading them, how to do this how to look a certain way how to act a certain way. So yeah, I think also males, like men also put up this perfect body image of what a woman should look like and how a woman should behave. And so that's why I think it's important and I think we're getting that way now with especially with my my daughters, I try to teach them you know, love your own body except your body for what? For what it is. Yes, I think then when you love yourself, your body is the perfect body image.

Yeah, that's true. And what does it mean to you feeling good and looking good, and what comes first?

Okay. So you know, you lead a healthy lifestyle, you get a good night's sleep, drink enough water, eat the right foods, do all the bad stuff in moderation. So I guess all these things contribute to making me feel good about myself. When you feel good about yourself, you also think you're looking pretty good at that time. So I think looking good is also about taking pride in your appearance. But I think it stems from if you feel good, you look good. And again, it's about self acceptance.

So what makes you feel the most beautiful?

Being around the people that I love, where I can be myself knowing that I'm not being judged by the way I look on the outside so when someone tells you that you look beautiful, and but you know that they're not just talking about that new dress or that different hairstyle that it's something from within, you know, when you're pregnant, they say you radiate and mothers and pregnant women. I think we radiate and that that's beautiful. When my four year old son grabs my face, and he says, I love you big much mummy, you're beautiful. But I'm still sitting in my pyjamas. I haven't even brushed my hair on my teeth yet, but he thinks I'm beautiful. Yes. And so I think happy people are the most beautiful people. It's definitely I think that's the goal that everybody should have strive for personal happiness.

And I have the last question. And I know you've got a surprise for us. You told me before but what is your favourite quote about being a woman?

Okay, so I thought hard about this and I thought not a quote as such, but there's a particular song that always resonates with me so okay, I'm gonna sing it. I'm noticing up but I'm going to sing the song let's see how we go

 

I am woman hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore. And I know too much to go back and pretend. Cuz I've heard it all before. And I've been down there on the floor. No one's ever going to keep me down again. Oh, yes, I'm wise. But it's wisdom born from pain. Yes, sir. Pay the Price. But look how much I've gained. If I had to. I can do anything. I am strong. I am invincible.

 

I am gonna keep going

 

can bend but never break me because it only serves to make me more determined to achieve my final goal. And I'll come back even stronger. Not a novice Danny longer costume conviction in my soul. Well, yes, I am was Buddha's wisdom balm to pay Yes sir pay the price. But look how much of gain if I have to, I can do anything. I am strong. I am invincible. I am woman one more I am woman watched me grow. See me standing toe to toe as I spread my loving eyes across the land. But I'm still an embryo with a long, long way to go until I make my brother Understand. Yes, I am wiser, but his wisdom bone to pay yourself pay the price. But look how much gain if I have to can face anything. I am strong and invincible. I am warm

That was amazing. Yeah, it's such an energy guys if you could feel how much energy we have here. Oh, that was the wonderful finale

for anybody who wants to sign me up. Just go to my website. I'm going to make a career out of singing.

It was really great. Thank you, Terry, thank you very much for your song for sharing your thoughts and joining our project and I hope you will enjoy the rest of the day in the photoshoot.

Oh, I know. I will. This is amazing. Thank you.

 

If you have an interesting story to share would love for you to participate. You can email us at info@aleksandrawalker.com or visit our website, www.aleksandrawalker.com

This is the 45 over 45 chapter of MY BODY MY STORY podcast, where we celebrate rule breakers and role models - the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show their SENSUALITY,  BEAUTY, SOUL, and TRUE ESSENCE.

 

For more information about the project visit:

https://www.aleksandrawalker.com/45-over-45

 

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