#17 My Body My Story 45 Over 45 - Adriana

In this episode, Adriana talks about her 1-year personal development project of reading 1 book a week - to learn about how a woman’s body and brain work and how hormonal changes throughout the years change them.

She also talks about the importance of mother-daughter conversations from an early age and women’s network support at the perimenopause stage, because when you know what is going to happen to your body and you have the freedom to talk about it, it helps a lot.

Her advice to younger women:

Don’t give up your goals so easily! We can have it all, just not all at the same time.

So, be kind and patient to yourself, don’t give up on taking care of yourself. Have time to yourself and wear high heels to feel yourself the most beautiful!

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT (auto-generated) : 

Hi, you are listening to My Body My Story podcast,

Everything was just going up, falling apart, even my marriage, my relationship with the kids work.

This is the 45 or 45 chapter where we celebrate rule breakers and role models, the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show that sensuality, beauty, soul and true essence. Here we talk about what it's like to be 45 Plus, adjusting to the changes that come with time, and will listen to the stories of our participants. If you have an interesting story to share, we would love you to participate, you can email us on info@aleksandrawalker.com or visit our website, www. aleksandrawalker.com

Hi, Adriana. Welcome to our studio and welcome to our project 45 over 45 my body my story. And let's start our conversation while you are sitting in the makeup chair. And having your makeup and hair done. Tell us a bit about yourself.

Yeah, hello, It's my pleasure to be here today. I'm very happy. And yeah, we start talking about myself. And my name is Adriana. I am 45, we'll be 46 tomorrow. So it's a big milestone, and I migrated to Australia five years ago with my family, have two beautiful kids, wonderful husband, pretty busy life. But a love about being here in Australia, it was the best decision we have done coming to live in this country. And I'm very excited for today.

What are you most passionate about in life?

It's a difficult question. There are so many things I love, but the last few years for me I'm more interested in personal development, you know, like learning about yourself, especially as a woman, learning how your body works, know how these hormonal changes throughout the years change your body, change your brain, change the way you perceive life. And I have been reading a lot. I have like my personal project as for reading one book per week, this year. So I'm pretty much on schedule. So I have been learning a lot learning a lot. It's very eye opening for me like all these, this learning, and I just love it.

Excellent. And so you research the subject of ageing, and everyone knows that the age comes in, we change. But what positive changes you've experienced with age?

Yeah, with age. There was like a very good book, I read about how the female brain works and how it changed throughout the years with the hormones. And it was kind of comforting for me to learn that what everything was feeling like I was not no being crazy was not just me. It's just like, how it changes how our body, how our brain perceives life after certain age with changes. But for me, I love my age, and I'm very proud of all these years. And I think the positive change that comes with age is like you, you being wise and you really focus on what really matters in life, you know, like you, you narrow your friendships, your connections, your relationships to really like people who can give you something in your life

with whom you have balance of giving and taking.

Yeah, exactly. Like, I think like having a supportive group, you know, even if friends or, or colleagues is so important for us, like we can't live without connections, right? So

I do remember what was the book name or the author of this book?

I'm really bad with names, but the book it's called The Female Brain. But it explained you know, like, throughout the phases of our lives, how does our brain the hormones that are taking over that age to how they change the way our brain works. Like for example when you when you have kids when you're pregnant at it changed completely, you know, like your perception for the world. It changed so much, you know, in after that you develop these skills that you really need to take care of your child. And when they grow up your brain changes again. So I'd like some time to focus on yourself again, go after your goals. And yeah, try to live life again.

It's pretty interesting. I will try and find this book. I would like to read it here as well. But what is the biggest challenge you're experiencing at this age?

Look, big challenge for me, the last few months has been on hormonal change and going through perimenopause, and almost menopause, although I'm still young for that, but it just came early for me. And it's something that I never thought about. You know, I think nobody thinks about that until it comes. And it changes so much. Like, it changed so much. I thought I was going nuts, you know, like, like, even my marriage, my relationship with the kids work, everything was just going up, falling apart. And I'm glad I looked for help. So I found a very good doctor. And this was the key. And luckily, I found that I was I was having some issues with my uterus. So I had to do like, a surgery to remove a few cysts, which luckily came came back beneath me. But like was really challenged because I was not thinking about these health health issues. So Young before. Yeah, but and then I start again, reading a lot about and like perimenopause, it can come like from two years to eight years before you actually reach menopause. So it's really challenging, but there's no much information about it. Right? Yeah. It's, it's really challenged, challenging for me at the moment, but I'm keep going.

I'm going exactly through the same what you just described. And I didn't expect that it would come that early. And you know, what, what shall I do? And which doctor should I go? And you know, nobody seems have answers a clue what's going on? Oh, it just normal. You just get too old.

Exactly. Just so sick of hearing that, you know, just like comes with age. But I think it's very important for us like to go after until you find someone who you can really trust in the answers, they give to you, like, feel that they are right, right.

And what is this doctor?

I've been seeing in my, I found a very good GP in Sydney. But she has this integrative approach. And with that, I mean that she looked not only for what your issues, right, but she looked for the root cause they're really the root cause and she works on prevention of the disease. So she's not there just to treat Okay, I have this issue, okay, just take this and you're done. She looks for everything. Like she even like recommend books for me to read and places to go and movies to see complex. It is. And then of course, I had to see an endocrinologist. And endocrinologist. We started hormone replacement, and it was like, best thing ever. So I feel I feel so good again. Yeah, so it's like really key like so there is there is life after perimenopause and menopause. We just need to find the right direction. Right.

Yeah. All right, let's move to something pleasant. And describe your greatest accomplishment.

Look, I think looking back on my life, I like had a lot of his most good accomplishments. But I truly believe that you know, coming to Australia was something so big for the family because I remember like packing the bags and we decided to bring just the bags, right? So we have to get rid of everything we had. And so like to sum up your whole life in nine bags, you know, the whole family nine bags was so challenging. You know, I was 41 my son was one year old when we moved and you know, I had a comfortable life. And then even though we were like in a very good situation in Brazil, like we, we decided to come because we were thinking about the future. We have our kids. So I think this was the most challenging and also the most rewarding thing we ever done.

So who was the initiator of this?

Both my husband and I, because we lived here, as students many years ago, he came to study and I came with him to study as well. And we decided to, to apply for the visa after we came back, and it took us 10 years. And meanwhile, we had the kids, we build careers over there. And we decided to come anyway.

Wow, wait 10 years?

Yeah.

So what advice would you give to 30 year old self? If you could meet her

I have thought about this question is such a good question. And I was trying to remember what I was doing when I was 30. So I would give, I would tell her to, to be kind and patient be herself. And really try to understand how, you know, how, how your body and how your mind works, because this would make so much easier this transition, you know, like, from, from being a woman and then being a mom, and then have tried to balance a career and, and have everything. And also don't give up and no self care. And having time for yourself, I think is so important. Because when you have time for yourself, you're you have a best version to give to the world is especially for your family. Right? Like to do having Yeah, like today, like having time to do this project for me. Like was like, Okay, I was I plan for that. So I organised the known the whole month, the whole week, around it, so everything could go smoothly as possible. And yeah,

But what advice would you give to younger women who will eventually undergo this changes?

Yeah, I would say don't give up your goals so easily. Because I remember I read this statement. I just don't remember who said that, that you can have, you can have it all. Because we always heard that on a woman can't have it all. But no, of course, we can have it all we just can't have it all at the same time. So we need to know our priorities, we need to focus on what's happening at the moment and which phase of our life we are. And enjoy each phase like fully right? Because sometimes like we are getting older and then we just came back to the past so many times, but it won't come back, right. So you need to accept and embrace the changes and move forward. Never backwards. So just keep going and you will have time to do everything. Just it won't happen at the same time.

Love it. I love it. I will take away this thing as well. It's amazing that how sometimes simple sayings, which are obvious once you hear them, they make you inspired or motivated, you know, yeah, needs them. very motivating. Like you can have it all but not the same time.

Yeah. And also I think like we have to have a network of support right? I think women need to support women. Because we we see so much. You know like after we become a mom there's so much things you see like when you start taking your kids to school you see okay, this mom you get labels right? Or this is a working mom, these are non working mom this stuff. You know, there's so many labels we're receiving I think we should be all supporting ourselves because it's it's already so difficult to balance everything. And if you have the support is much easier for everyone. Yeah.

So where do you think the idea of perfect body image comes from?

Look for my generation, I believe it probably came from the way we were raised. You know, like probably what our mothers told us as a child or what we perceived and all the challenges we had. And but nowadays, for sure it comes like all from social media and all these ideal, you know ads of bodies, but I think we need to look at ourselves as we are right we we can aim the impossible or I think when we look more inside then The outside is much easier to deal with if we feel body or if you're not happy with your body. Why do you want to change that? It needs to be like an internal motivation. And it needs to come from you. And for you, because if you're doing for someone I think is never worth it, because you and usually you we are harder with ourselves in terms of like a body image, right?

We are the hardest critics.

We are in sometimes, like, you know, like people just don't care. But you when you look at the mirror, you're so judging, and it was so hard, like you say things to yourself that wouldn't say to your best friend, for example, you wouldn't say those things. And we need to be gentle and say, Okay, if you want to change something, why do you want to do that? Knowing why I think it's more important than to do it. Because when you, you know, you're wise, you, you have more, you have a better idea of, you know, why? Why you want to do that? And yeah, it helps. I think,

Do you think it's also depends on the culture or country where you raised? Like, is it any difference? Can you say like, in Brazil or in Australia, it's two different body images, or it's the same? What do you think?

Cultural differences are very, I think it has a great influence on how we see, like for example, I remember as a kid, it's like in Brazil, like we are very open, like to talk about a lot of things. And other cultures, like we like you barely talk. Like, for example, I had to had a chat with my daughter about you know, like how her body we've changed with being a teenager because she's already going through some changes. And I didn't have that from my mom. But I think it makes such a difference because when you know what's going to happen in you, you have these freedom to talk about it. I think it helps a lot. So yeah, to prepare Yeah, to prepare to understand what's what will happen and you know, and how people are different as well like like she was asked, we will have like a big prayer so it's more of us I don't know like like people are different like they're there many shapes and sizes and and they're all okay because there is not a perfect thing right you need to do be yourself you will be yourself and this is how you be you need to learn how to love yourself for what how you are right

Now so it's probably very important when the kids get those talks with parents you know and because family forms a lot of views and self perception and how kids that grow up with this ideas you know of themselves the social media does have influence but I think that primary it's the family who helps either to take it Yes. Serious this social media opinion.

Yeah, I was looking I was showing her last weekend, you know, before and after photos with makeup. Because I was telling her what I was going to do today and I said look, when you when you open Instagram when you open it you know like all these tick tock and things people have been like putting on a lot of makeups plus all the filters they have. So let's look at some before and after look. Anyone can can look different with a makeup with a filter anything so it's normal, like people don't wake up like this everyday right? So just we just need to understand that what we see in TV on on social media, like it's something that was there was a background there was like a lot of work before that to for that image to be published. Right. So yeah, and she understood. I hope so.

Right? What does it mean? For you feeling good and looking good? What do you think comes first?

Definitely feeling good comes first and for me is very important. I think when you feel good about yourself like you can you can even like be like just in a jeans and T shirt you feel amazing. Right? Because I think there was somebody told me once you know when you feel good, there was a there is a sparkle in in our eyes that is like tell everyone that you're feeling so good. There is so confident that doesn't matter. The external how you look like, because you're feeling so good that people can, you know, see this energy coming from you. So definitely feeling good, I think is the first step.

So what makes you feel the most beautiful?

I love shoes. If I have any high heels, I feel amazing. I feel amazing. Yeah.

What is your favourite quote about being a woman or saying maybe your idea?

I had so many quotes for the last few years. But I think the most appropriate one for these projects is that one quote by Coco Chanel. And she says that “Elegance is when your insight is as beautiful as your outside”. It is like we were saying before, when you feel good when you feel beautiful from inside, right. You know, you're outside everyone can pick up your area. Good Energy, in how you feel.

Right. Well, excellent. Thank you, Adriana. Thank you for your answers. And thank you for coming to joining our project. I hope you will enjoy the photoshoots.

Thanks a lot.

If you have an interesting story to share would love for you to participate. You can email us at info@aleksandrawalker.com or visit our website, www. aleksandrawalker.com

 

This is the 45 over 45 chapter of MY BODY MY STORY podcast, where we celebrate rule breakers and role models - the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show their SENSUALITY,  BEAUTY, SOUL, and TRUE ESSENCE.

 

For more information about the project visit:

https://www.aleksandrawalker.com/45-over-45

 

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