#14 My Body My Story 45 Over 45 - Katrina

In this episode, Katrina tells her story of living in different communes since she was 8 years old, leaving home at 12 years old, and school at 13, as well as learning early how to take care of herself.

She talks about her biggest challenge of letting her kids grow into adults without her trying to help or control it. She also talks about her biggest accomplishment of being true to herself, searching and doing things that make her happy and content.

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT (auto-generated): 

 

Hi, you are listening to My Body My Story podcast,

Being happy is important, if you're not happy, and got a big house and a car and not very nice husband, partner, but what's the point?

This is the 45 or 45 chapter where we celebrate rule breakers and role models, the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show that sensuality, beauty, soul and true essence. Here we talk about what it's like to be 45 Plus, adjusting to the changes that come with time, and will listen to the stories of our participants. If you have an interesting story to share, we would love you to participate, you can email us on info@aleksandrawalker.com or visit our website, www. aleksandrawalker.com

What stand up the most?

Well, I suppose the thing that attracted me about your project was Rule Breakers. And I'm definitely not intentionally a rebel, or rule breaker, but I seem to have broken a few rules. Like, leaving home at 12. And I really left school before I turned 14. So I was 13, a wild child went out and had a full time job. Supportive myself, I mean, my mother did help me a bit with my rent. I lived in communes for years. I was pretty sort of devastated when my parents split up when I was about seven or eight years old. And I lived with my mother. And we did end up living in a few communes. So I moved to a commune when I was eight years old in Paddington.

Wow.

And I suppose I just became worldly, I think very quickly I've had to grow up. That's where I had to grow up. I realised quite young that no one's going to rescue you from yourself, you have to do everything. Well, you're born alone, really. I think leaving in communes and villages is a good concept, because you always have the support you need from others. But it didn't quite turn out that way for me. And that's why I ended up moving out because people were just too busy on their own journey. Really. One minute, they wanted me to have responsibilities like an adult, and the next minute, they wanted to treat me as a child. So I wasn't happy with that. So moved out, moved into another commune sort of drifted around the city in a few different communes for a few years until I ended up back where I grew up, which is Avalon, and I did move before I left home, I did move back with my father and we moved to this isolated place called Bungle.

Is that in Victoria?

Oh, no, it's in New South Wales. It's on the mid north coast. Beautiful spot. Heaps of lakes and beaches. And but no culture. Wow. And I think I stayed six months and yeah, I came back. That's when I moved back with my mother and then moved out of home. You know, I probably should have been dead a few times over with these situations. It happened to me.

Quite a tough life.

And then I ended up when I was 15. I moved back to where I grew up in Avalon because my sister had moved down when she left school at 16. And I sort of reconnected with some of my friends and that's where I met my first partner. So I was in a relationship from 15 to 22. And I did end up back in Bungle of all places I stopped in on the way back from Queensland and ended up staying and just lived in this tiny little bubble caravan on the lake edge. And was probably the first time since I left home that I didn't work for a couple years and he was just on the doll and a few other people living around in tents and you know, is to sit by the fire and play guitar and smoke a beat of weed, leaving the bush. And it was all pretty perfect. But, you know, as some men do, I got hurt. And that relationship ended. And I ended up being with my step brother, which is also breaking a rule, I suppose? Well, well, it's not really a in some people's eyes were in some people's eyes I'm probably referred to as a bit of a maverick, which is unconventional, untraditionally..

Before they used to marry cousins..

We've never really lived together as brother and sister, I think we did for about six months, he went to England, and we'd always got on really well. And it was a bit, there's quite a bit of anxiety around it, like telling our parents like his mom and my dad, and they're really supportive. They just sort of said, well, you can have the child that we never had. And that's this, which we did, we had two children, and he had a daughter from a previous relationship. And we were pretty much madly in love for 17 years till he burned me as well. So until what he left, oh, well, you know, he was having an affair with someone else.

You need to write a book about your life

It’s just skimming the surface. Anyway, like since then, I've lived on my own, which is like 19 years because I didn't really have trust issues. I just didn't want to settle for anything less than what I you know, deserved or needed and wanted.

You've learned you know, you've been with everyone you like people that you loved and they hurt you. So from then on, you had to focus on yourself

for two and a half years, I didn't go near a man or have sex or anything can then sort of a local man fell in my lap. And it just sort of happened. Yeah, I was with him for two and a half years. And it was really good. I have no regrets. I don't, you know, I don't have any regrets about any of their relationships. You know, I don't feel bad about loving, loving deeply and passionately, because that's who I am. And, and it was good at the time, like however it ends. Yeah. But that sort of went for two and a half years. And it sort of like just finished as fast as I started. Yeah, that was just like over and there was disloyalty action there too. So and I never lived with him. I had my young children. I was single mum. Yeah, well, still am really not. I've just got my house back to myself, but you never stop being a mother. And I do have a partner now that I met 13 years ago on the internet.

Oh, wow.

And we dated briefly, but we didn't continue. Well, he pulled the plug after a couple of months because I wasn't ready for a relationship. And that's what he was looking for. And then we got in contact two years after that. And we had another day or a couple of dates, and he's got a really bad back and it's pretty much said he was no good to me and pull the plug again, out. And then a couple years after that we reunited again. And he we had a nice dinner. I'm like I've got health issues, chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia and I actually told him when that I had been going through a bit of a rough patch and yeah, and then the next day after our dinner and motel he just said Oh, you don't seem you seem happy self. And you know, I was just like, well, I didn't I've got an illness. He understands chronic fatigue now but he didn't at the time he pulled the plug in game.

Oh my god.

So last year, he went on a dating site to have a look to us to be able to have a look like without joining Yeah, that's right. So they wanted me to join but all I do was use the name I use before and gave my email address like there's no picture now a write up nothing and so I have a look. I think I spent all the five minutes on there and pulled the plug. And he in that he must have seen that I was on there and he rang me up.

He wasn't learning his lesson like he Yeah, it was still you know you two were watching finished. He was supposed to keep, you know, you had to beat together and yet he kept wanting to? I don't know. That's for whatever reason run away, but it's still work for him.

Oh, that's right. And like, I'm not into making plans, you know, as long as it's happening now. And it's working now. That's like, I don't want to read too much into it or make plans for the future. Although you might get disappointed if you have expectations.

Yeah. And things always do changing when you change. Why plan for such anything too grand..

He's married to his job. And he lives over an hour away, and sometimes work seven days a week. So we don't have heaps of time together. Yeah. But we're definitely compatible. Yeah, together. Yeah, it's nice. That's nice to know that someone's there and not getting too old and maybe lonely.

That's right. What advice would you give your younger self, you know, 20-30 years just sort of younger? What would you do differently is anything?

Because I don't really have regrets or want to do anything differently? Because that sort of makes me who I am today. I mean, you know, everyone can benefit from wise advice. But like, there's nothing I wouldn't do again, really? Yeah. So I can't think of anything. So until myself, try not to worry too much about your kids, because it doesn't change anything. is probably one of the hardest things to do, because I know that but putting it into practice is the hard one.

Okay, everyone changes with age, what positive changes? Could you can you think of that, that you got to change for you, as you grew a bit older, because you're still very young,

Probably just I mean, I've never been judgmental, but just more tolerant of how people are and not letting it affect my life or, you know, everyone has different opinions and different way of life and don't really know what they've been through and just let people be who they are, instead of judging them or just tolerating people and not reacting to other people's opinions, or thoughts or what they think of you or themselves. You know, trying to be calm and mature through it all, maybe instead of reacting I mean, I've never been one for conflict to either try and avoid it. Yeah, isn't always a good thing. But

I even having experienced a few conflicts myself, I think sometimes it is, the best thing that you can do is just be tolerant, do your own thing and not worry.

Well, it's a sort of waste of energy really. got better things to do. And looking model feature. Yeah, just not being negative about anything that happens really taking it in your stride, especially if you don't have the power to change it.

That's right. That's the hardest bit. Katie, what is the biggest challenge that you're experiencing at your current age?

So for this moment in time in my life, it's letting go of my children and letting them be responsible for living their own life, and making their own choices, whether they be good or bad. And you're not letting those choices affect me. Yeah. And so not wanting to control the life really, which is, I don't try and control it. But everyone, every mother wants to put their two cents worth in, that's fine. You just have to let them learn. Whether they struggle through life or breeze through it, it's their own making. You know, like I said, No one can rescue you from yourself except yourself. And sometimes sitting back and watching your children make choices that you don't think are favourable, is hard to sit by and watch and not want to control the situation, I suppose. So. I'm still learning and like I'm getting there. I've had a really probably the worst year of my life with one of my children and just learning to accept that That's her path and not yours. And, and I just have to, well, I just Yeah, well I have or remove myself from the situation if it upsets me too much and just pay obey and, you know, stumble through life the way she needs to. Yeah, to get where she wants to be. Yeah. But yeah, always be there for support. My biggest accomplishment is being true to myself, and searching for doing things that make me happy and content and not worrying about anyone else. past future. And just doing focusing on me being satisfied with life really.

Okay, one more question. What advice would you give other women that will eventually get to this stage?

Pretty plain and simple maybe to not to sacrifice your happiness for security? Yeah. Whether it be house car job, relationship, I think being happy and content, and maybe not totally continued, but happy is important. Like if you're not happy, and you've got a big house and a car and a not very nice husband or partner, like what's the point? That's right. And I think there's too much like, especially in society today, not aimed at possessions and degrees or whatever. And everyone's so busy and distracted getting those that forgetting to live life and be happy. That's right. Like Sometimes simple is best. I think

You need to write a book. Thank you for sharing your story. Very nice. Thank you.

My pleasure.

If you have an interesting story to share would love for you to participate. You can email us at info@aleksandrawalker.com or visit our website, www. aleksandrawalker.com

 

This is the 45 over 45 chapter of MY BODY MY STORY podcast, where we celebrate rule breakers and role models - the women who inspire us to live life our way and to show their SENSUALITY,  BEAUTY, SOUL, and TRUE ESSENCE.

 

For more information about the project visit:

https://www.aleksandrawalker.com/45-over-45

 

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